Frustrated!!!!!

[Lmsmdm]

I have been on the road to try and donate a kidney to my father for about a year now.... first hospital, loved me, but denied my father. Now we are at a new hospital, they have okayed him, but now I am the issue. First hospital confirmed we are a match.

 

I had to quit smoking...tough, but I can do it. However, quitting smoking has added weight. I have NEVER been skinny...have struggled with that my entire life. They are putting everything on BMI. I know I am over weight, will never deny that, but I am not so over weight that I am a surgical risk. I am so frustrated because my extra weight is due to hand to mouth because I'm not smoking.

 

I would get it if my family had a history of diabetes and such, but we don't. My father was a premi and was born with one kidney. I am so angry because it should be my body, my choice.... I want to make my fathers remaining years as comfortable as possible. It has become such a burden because I can't seem to shed the fucking 10 pounds to make it all "ok" in their eyes. So the kidney exchange is not happening because of me.

 

I have started walking again....always watch what I eat.... ARGH!!!!!

 

Just needed to vent....

[MACC]

i am so sorry Lmsmdm. I don't exactly know how you feel but my dad has similiar health problems. My DHusbands mom, I still call her my mother in law, had a Kidney donation given to her.

 

My dad has several core morbidity illnesses (high blood pressure, diabetic etc ) and will soon be 77. Doctors never even spoke to him about kidney transplants or getting on an organ donation list. Is his life not worth it because of his age,seriously? My dad didn't want any of us to donate because 3 of his four kids are the sole providers and single parents. Not sure why he  wouldnt accept from my other sister. But thats not my place to interfere.

 

So instead my dad does Dialysis at home every night. It is a big adjustment but he is getting by. Seeing our parents age and seeing them sick is very hard.

I can understand why you feel it has become a burden and why your angry. I dont have any words to make it better but I hear you. Vent away.

[SoVerySad]

I can see why you are frustrated. It does seem like you should be able to proceed if you understand the risks. Please, if you aren't able to donate your kidney, it won't be your fault. It will be the strict guidelines. I've been dieting. One thing that has helped me is staying in my room as much as I can, instead of downstairs where the kitchen is. Then I'm not as tempted to get a snack.

 

Tight hugs!!

[MACC]

I agree. It is not your fault.

[Sugarbell]

Good for you on stopping smoking!! I stopped years ago...but I have always chewed the Nicorette gum. The gum helps with cravings and the nicotine keeps metabolism from slowing down too much. (I know its still bad for you but its not smoking)

 

Second...have you tried like a 15 day berry cleanse? They have them in pill form at any drug store over the counter. You can drop 5 lbs naturally and feel better in two weeks. I don't know if that helps...but I have been doing it every few months when I start to feel bloated/heavy.

 

Good luck! We are pulling for you!

[Lmsmdm]

Thanks everyone!!!! I was vaping, with a very low nicotine....that helped with my hand to mouth.....can't have any nicotine in my system as when they test, can't tell a cig from any other form. That's when the weight slipped in.

 

Soverysad, yes I too lock myself in my room ha ha ha!!!

 

I know it's "not my fault". I just wish the first hospital liked him too. They are known for cherry picking their candidates so their results look better. When they sent the 12 year old pharmacist into the room to talk to me about the dangers of smoking (yes I do know it's a hideous life threatening habit) and how it can cause high blood pressure (my average is 110/68 as a pack and a half a day smoker....haven't checked it since I stopped) I almost lost my shit. Please, please, please don't speak to me like I am 5....Especially since you are 12!!!!!! 

 

Currently I have chosen to focus on my up coming trip to Ireland. So excited right now I can't stand myself.

 

[Lmsmdm]

MACC I am so very sorry about your father. It's just so hard to see the men that once carried us on their shoulders, slow down and have difficulty carrying themselves. ((((Hugs)))