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boyo1991

This really happened.

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Hello everyone.

 

Me and my wife are very young. I am 25 years old. Now I understand people have become a widow at that age, but I have come to the conclusion that I am not a widow because she is always here with me.

 

In any case, please understand that I am still in an incredible emotional roller coaster as my wife is donating her organs today. I say it this way, because while her heart is still pumping technically she is only there for the donations. That's what is keeping her heart going, she knows what she wanted.

 

Today is also the one week anniversary of our marriage. That's right, not only am I young, and a male widow, but our future together had been cut extremely short. We agreed we were soulmates and I will never remarry.

 

When I came to terms this really was going to happen (and due to a lack of sleep this awful week) I wanted to find someone who may actually understand. Friends and family say they understand... But then they follow up with they can't even imagine what I'm going through... And I just knew there had to be someone out there that had a similar situation..

 

I remain firm that she resigned herself to this fate after she said she had lived more in our short time together than she ever had in her entire life...

 

I hope immensely there is someone else out there that's had a similar situation... I've read about how the Young widows club being obviously the club nobody wants to be in.. but from everything I've seen is that the very few I've found at the age of 25, they had been married for at the very least I had found was 10 months into marriage.... Don't get me wrong, obviously that's early, I just feel at a total loss of what to go to where because of my situation being so imminent... I'm not over the greeting process, but I know I never will...

 

Right now I just want to find comfort in being totally unique in such a bad way.... Male widow, at 25 years old and she died a week after getting married immediately after the honeymoon...

 

Thanks

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I'm sorry you had to join the group. Were you together long before you were married? I am new to this group as well..age 33. It's definately a roller coaster. One day at a time

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boyo1991,

So sorry to see you in this forum. Life is roll coaster and will be like this for a while. I am one year out but life is still same except pain is less and brain is able to think about some other stuff.

Peace

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boyo-

 

Sorry you have the reason to be here. Everyone has different circumstances for sure but there is a lot of commonality to the experience and I am glad you found this community. It can surely help you navigate as you come here to vent, share and both fall apart and put yourself back together again.

 

As time moves along, don't forget about this place. It can really be a comfort.

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Sorry to hear this.  Im 37,  my wife was 40. I had to make the decision to switch from lifesaving mode to comfort care,  switching off defibrillator in her pacemaker because there was no chance of recovery.  She passed away later that day.

 

Its probably easier for me because it was expected for a long time.  She was in pain alot.  Now we are both at peace. 

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Sorry you have to go thru this Jdubb. I had to remove the ventilator too. Sometimes life doesn't give you another chance. Good you can think positive that both at peace.

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I also had to take my husband off the ventilator. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But it was almost a spiritual experience watching him die. What really upset me is that about 10 minutes after he was declared dead, his sister told this really embarrassing story about him. They never really got along, and so it almost felt she was just adding insult to injury. What really got me was during the process, she kept talking about how much she looked up to him. When he was alive, he actually couldn't do anything right by her. Sorry to dump all this, but it's just so frustrating that everyone else thinks she's so wonderful when she's really quite cruel.

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I thought I was a "young" widow at 41 (my wife died Aug. 30, and I've had a birthday since)... I'm so sorry to hear about your soulmate. My wife was mine, and after two weeks of fevers, a surgery to repair a complication from a surgery 2 weeks prior, her liver beginning to shut down, her mental status deteriorating, and finally them having to sedate her so she wouldn't fight the ventilator... I told them to remove life support. Even if they could have brought her back (I already knew she was gone), she'd have needed a new liver, and would have lost at least one hand and one foot... I knew she had suffered enough in her life. She was 30. I had known her a year, and we'd been married 10 months. I'll never love anyone the way I loved her. 

 

So I totally get that your wife was your soulmate. I wish you'd had more time with her in this life. But I'm sure she'll be waiting for you.

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So sad to hear this.had me in tears.I lost my husband and soulmate 2 years this christmas. Through a heart attack.Christmas and life is simply not the same.I'm 40 he was 53

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