Now and Zen

Hello to everyone, I'm new here I just recently join. My name is Rudy AKA Now and Zen. I lost my wife to cancer about 1-1/2 years ago. She died from head and neck cancer, that was very aggressive. After many different treatments there were no more options to treat her cancer, She was very brave, and right to the end was the strongest of us two. She was my whole life , we were married for a 33 years. When she pass I felt like in many ways I had lost myself. I have read many of the subject posted here and really appreciate each and everyone of you, for sharing. It's been very helpful to see that so many of the things I felt were not abnormal for widow people to go through. What I have learned here is very calming in an otherwise crazy world. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

It is almost impossible to share things about yourself without in someway mentioning the person you have share more than half of your life with, it is sad when when anyone especial friends can't understand that. I've had friends tell me they were afraid to say my DW's name. I simply replied, it would be worse if they allowed themselves to forget her.