Coconut Head

I feel you completely. I have to pack my belongings, take a shower, feed the dogs, and figure out how to move all my furniture. Its almost 1 in the afternoon and I just cant move. I keep asking him "What do I do?" . He isnt answering me. Sending you hugs.

Thanks for the helpful responses everyone. As you are all aware of, this is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I have been reading the posts on here since the day after it happened and I do feel like you understand my pain. Glad there is a place like this to share. And the story behind Coconut Head: We were on our honeymoon in Mexico and my hubby bought me a purse made out of a coconut. It was the ugliest thing I had ever seen, and on every anniversary I would get a coconut...a cup, a figurine, whatever he could find. I cherish every single one of them. He called me his coconut head from day 2 of our marriage!

I know exactly how you feel. You are not alone.

Hi everyone This Friday will be four weeks since my husband was killed. We were together for 18 years. I feel like I am in a dream and that I am going to wake up and he will be laying next to me. We had an argument. He wanted to drive. I said no because he had been drinking. He refused to get back in the car, said he was done, and started walking down the highway. I decided to give him time to cool off and drove to the next exit, made a U-turn and by the time I came back to where he got out, two vehicles had hit him killing him instantly. I feel so guilty. He would have never left me on the side of the road even if I said I wasn't getting in the car. He would have driven behind me till I wised up and got back in the car. The guilt is eating me alive and all I can see is his face as the cars hit him and him being thrown into the concrete barrier. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better. In the meantime, they are all moving on with their lives and although I know they are sad over his loss, it feels like he is just forgotten. Like "oh well, he is gone..lets go grab dinner at this new restaurant". I am disabled in a wheelchair and so I depended on him for just about everything. I never realized how much he actually did for me till I realized I hadn't had a shower in four days and I had no one to help me get one. I am now having to move into an apartment for disabled people and have to give up my animals like I haven't had enough trauma- lets make her give away her children. I miss everything about him and our life together. We were perfect. The fight we had that night was the first one in ten years. And I know if he hadn't been killed, we would have made up. We always did. I dont know how to do this life. This life is hard. This life is too much change. I just want our old life back.