Don't you think that some of our suffering (I say SOME) is due to either our lack of perspective or our extreme intensity of perspective? Which is it? There are many ways to grieve, to feel sad, and many things that trigger that. Memories, scents, photos, places, THINGS. A side walk. (We walked down this side walk two years ago, one year ago, two months ago), we picked out that paint color together too, we, we, we,.... etc...What is the most painful thing here? Is it the narrowing of our daily narrative, ie reality? Our focus? Who actually does focus like this except for us, the grieving ones? What could I have done with this energy otherwise? The little energy that I have? The one who is streaming TV to numb the mind? The 60% that I have left to eat, sleep, survive? Also is it just me missing him or is there also fear the in knowing that I am now alone? AND with no children. Is it all of these things? Do I have hope? Oddly enough YES. And I'm not dead yet. Isn't this odd?