Mrs.johnson

So sorry for your sudden loss!!! I lost my husband 4 weeks ago...he had gotten in that morning from work with an outfit on that I got him for Christmas 2016...he brought me home Dunkin Donuts for breakfast with an excessive amount of strawberry jelly... and then he had to head back out to meet up with a coworker and check on his car that was being fixed and that was the last time i saw him...my husband had an aneurysm and never came back home to me...my whole life has changed in a blink of an eye...like you I obsessed over what I could have done to prevent this from happening but my therapist told me that by doing this I'm giving myself way to much power...she told me that a higher power decides when it's someone's time and such a thing is orchestrated by a higher power or fate that we as humans have no control over...i hope this brings you a little comfort...

I use to get a kick out of telling people I spooned him too lol!!! He was not only a personal trainer but a body builder as well so he was my big baby!!! I got lucky when I came across his dirty clothes!!! I'm an avid washer lol...i washed clothes everyday...so happy I skipped laundry the day before he passed!!! I know this might sound gross but my hunny drooled in his sleep lol!!! And there are still drool spots on his side of the bed on the sheets and pillow...instead of washing them when it's time to wash the bedding I'm just going to buy a new set lol!!! My husband has a variety of colognes...i still have them out on the dresser along with mine...the other day I was going through his shoes and I came across the shoes we got married in and he had them on when I threw him a surprise birthday party...who would have known that something as insignificant as a shoe could be so significant later in life...

Posts: 2 View Profile Personal Message (Offline) Bedtime was unique for us as well...he would have to have the tv on watching family guy, American dad or meet the clevelands...i would always wait for him to call asleep so that I could turn the television off. He also snored so loud which is something I miss...his snoring helped get me to sleep lol!!! Crazy huh!!!! And instead of him spooning me I always spooned him lol!!!! Before bed we would talk all night just like you guys!!!! I'm a teacher and I would have to be up early in the morning but I would let him talk on and on for hours...he was a personal trainer so his schedule was flexible unlike mine...just like you all we would watch YouTube in bed too lol...right now what helps me is actually being in our bed where I lay on his pillow and on his side of the bed snuggled up with our dog...i also have a couple of shirts that I didn't wash that still have his scent...do you still have any of her clothes that still have her scent??

I'm so sorry for your lost...i'm 34 years old and I lost my husband of 8 months unexpectedly as well...he died 3 weeks ago...we didn't have any kids together but he has a 16 year old whom he had full custody of which makes him my step son and we have a yorkie that he got me for Valentine's day 2016...we dated for a year and 5 months before he proposed and a year later we got married...just like you I've never done anything important without him...i always looked to him...he was soooooo smart and took such good care of me!!! He was and still is an awesome husband!!! I moved into my parents home and it didn't feel quite like home until I moved our bed in...being in our bed gives me a since of closeness to him and he hated when I slept on the couch or in our sons bed when he would be gone working 3rd shift...he would say "I bought you this big beautiful bed and you don't even sleep in it...i would hate to sleep in the bed without him but I know he preferred me to be in this bed that he spent so much money on...what do you think she would say about you sleeping on the couch and not in the bed?? My sadness and pain causes me to be sleepy throughout the day so I can sleep at the drop of a dime...you ever think about taking something to help you sleep that's not habit forming like melatonin or Tylenol pm...those might help...my mother-in-law takes melatonin and it helps her...

My favorite time of day the is bedtime when my sweet husband visits me in my dreams...I go on about my day but I look forward to sleeping!!! I thrive off these dreams that make me feel so connected to him...i have made a dream scrapbook that only consists of my dreams where I have some type of contact with him

I totally understand the numbness...in church I'm usually the one shouting out "amen", singing along with the choir and praising God...now I just sit their numb with so much sorrow on my heart and in my mind... it pretty much blocks me from what's going on around me...i feel like I'm standing still while everyone around me is going to and fro; busy with their lives and the cares of this world...

It saddens me to my core that I will never receive another text or phone call from my husband...every morning that I got to work I would text him to let him know I made it safely and he would respond "okay...love you baby" that will never happen again

Tell me more about the necklace ...did he give you the necklace??

I wore white to my husband's memorial...he loved me in white...after that I went back to my regular clothes...

I already have two tattoos...on my left upper thigh i have an assortment of flowers and butterflies on my right thign i have my husbands name with a crown...for my next tattoo I'm just going to go over his name with his ashes mixed with the ink...

My husband passed away March 14, 2017 and in the mist of all that i have my praxis exam (to become a teacher) on April 5th...i just started back studying and I don't force myself to do to much...i study in 45 minute intervals...so don't put too much pressure on yourself...do what you can...