Hugs to you Courtney. It has been five months for me and the loneliness is still unbearable. Like you I am an only child, I am not sure what your experience of that was but I was always so independent before meeting my man. I never had a problem being alone and it is disorienting for me now to feel so lonely and constantly afraid to be without him. We were together for over four years and did nearly everything together. I am having such a hard time now doing things on my own. Work is the only part of my day that feels "normal" because I am used to him not being at work with me, it's the only part of my routine that has stayed the same without him.
I am not technically a widow either, we were engaged when he was diagnosed with cancer and realized very quickly that we were better off financially if we didn't get legally married so we were never able to make it official. Some people in our families don't choose to recognize me as his widow but it makes those who have been supportive all the more important to me.