Hi Always,
You are not alone, all of what you said is so familiar. I'm so so sorry for your loss.
It's been over 3 months since I lost my husband, it feels like a lifetime. We too were trying to start a family. In the short time that has past, I wondered why we had found each other, only to part is such a sudden and horrific way, but a thought came to me last week, my husband was so very happy to be in love, to love me and to be loved by me. I realised that being together and sharing so much love had made his life so full. His life was short but together we both knew great love. And this is why I believe we found each other. Its heartbreaking that he is not here anymore and we are all without our great loves. But our relationships do not suddenly disappear, they continue only very differently.
I'm thinking of you here.