Thank you for this thread! I am nearly 5 years widowed now and am only just realizing that I've been quite smothered by my MIL. It was just so easy to do. My NG asked me why that relationship was important to me to maintain and I couldn't come up with an answer besides not wanting to dissapoint her. I feel part guilty for wanting distance from her but I have been unsuccessful trying to mix my MIL and NG. I tried dropping hints that I needed distance like not accepting every invitation to dinner and not being as "on-call" but it's not happening. She's just trying harder to keep me close. I'm not quite sure what to say except that I need distance to continue healing and enjoy this next chapter. Propably would have been easier now if I had kept distance from the beginning but we had lived with her for the year before he passed so a close relationship was already established.
