Hi,
My name is Jess and I lost my partner Jamie in March 2016. He went to work one morning and never came home. On his way home that day he was involved in a road traffic accident. He was put in a medically induced coma but his injuries were too severe and he passed away two weeks later on what would have been his 32nd birthday. At the time of his death we had a three month old baby boy, Zac. I felt numb for a long time after his died. I didn't have the luxury of wallowing because I had the baby and at the time I was living in the UK and my parents were in Australia so didn't have their support. Some people didn't understand how I was coping and I lost a lot of friends. I didn't understand why he had the die and leave me to raise a baby on my own. We should have been celebrating the best time of our lives but instead my maternity leave was tainted by what had happened. Jamie's family and I had a massive falling out nearly a year ago now. I felt like they didn't support me and Zac much after he died but after the fall out, it's like we don't exist (they didn't even acknowledge Zac's 1st birthday). In the end, I decided to cut my losses. I sold my (our) house, packed up Zac and our dog Foster and moved over to Western Australia to live with my mum. I'm rebuilding things slowly. I re-enrolled in university and am studying online. I'm trying to make things better for myself and Zac. A lot has changed and I feel like I'm ready to move forward but every day is still hard. I don't think I'll ever get why Jamie had to die. Sometimes I think that the stages of grief just wash over you, and sometimes I find that feelings just hit me like a ton of bricks. Zac is 20 months now and he's amazing. I'm just sad all the time. Mainly because I just don't see an end to how things are now. I want things to get better but it feels slow. Anyway, this is a longer intro than I wanted, so sorry for the headache :-)
