I think when these comments hurt the worst is the intention behind them. We've all got these. The comments that are easier to blow off are the ones that come from people who are uncomfortable but mean well. Those I don't even remember anymore. But these two are the ones I'll never forget....
At a party for my in-laws a year maybe after LH died, I was telling this man who I was... daughter-in-law of their son who died a year ago. He asked how he died, and I said cancer. His reply, "What did you Do to him?" followed by laughter at his insanely funny joke. I was too stunned and all I could do was walk away.
A few days after the funeral, my parents were leaving to go back to the States. The last thing my mom said to me as I'm sitting in LH's chair in my bathrobe still in shock was... "You. Need. To. Get. Your. Act. Together." then just grabbed her suitcase and left. To this day she has no idea how much that hurt me and still does. It felt more like desertion.