I lost my husband unexpectedly at the beginning of this past December, a month after celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary. Some days I've felt productive and empowered, like if I can get through this I can get through anything. Other days I can't get out of bed, I miss him so badly it hurts, I feel helpless, alone, and buried under the paperwork and phone calls. I wish I could fast forward time. I dread pretending to be excited for my friends and acquaintance's who are getting married and having kids. It's hard to grasp the idea that he's gone and I'm a widow, but I'm hoping this forum will help me find others I can relate to.