PhotoJunkie

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Missouri now, but my heart is in AZ I will be in AZ in january......hmmmmmm maybe I need to break out of the cave and meet some people

I have an odd situation that I would like some outside opinions on. Being a hermit and shy, I don't read social things well at all. Plus in this case I was with my sister and her strong opinions on things often color and affect my thinking so I thought I would ask you guys I was in an all weekend training class. There were 9 of us and out of the 9 I only knew my sister. Not my favorite thing to do but classes are interesting and I can usually keep to myself When I take them with my sister, I inevitably get drawn into talking to people a little. its hard not to around her....people just love to interact with her and I get dragged along Not always a bad thing. At the very end of the course, we had to do a practical that lasted several hours and HIGH stress. Mostly brought on by ourselves lol, but still very stressful. I was relaxing at the back for a few, trying to decompress as there were some small triggering events (my victim died and I had to calm the husband down, the actors were very very good) plus iVe spent three days with strangers etc. One of the guys in the class sat down next to me and showed me his phone. He said that one of the other participants had taken a photo of the sign in log which contained our full names, email addresses and phone numbers. He asked me if I was indeed the person on the list he thought and I did without thinking. Normally I would have been quite upset over the whole photo of my personal info thing but I was exhausted, dehydrated and overwhelmed so I just went with it. He said great and made some comment about texting me/calling me later for his daughters who want to be nurses. He also made a statement about checking in with my sister and then he left. I checked with my sister. He didn't talk to her before he left. He just told her bye and went to his car. So before I give you my daughters and my sisters thoughts.....what do you guys think? Now that Im thinking clearly Im a little bugged about the photo. He's a nice guy from what I was able to see in 3 days but I think I talked to him maybe all of 10-15 minutes. Do people really grab strangers numbers for their kids to talk to?

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Welcome to the club nobody wants to join but we are glad you found your way to us. There are a lot of great people on this board and a lot of good resources as well. Big big hugs to you. I recommend that you stay hydrated and take it one minute at a time. Eating, sleeping and functioning will happen on their own timeline. Just breathe, drink and talk with people here to get the stuff other people don't.

I figured this would be the safest place to work this out. Today I had a small incident with my motorcycle. I have a nasty patch of road rash on one arm, possible bruising to my hip, but honestly despite it setting of a chain reaction of flashbacks and panic attacks to the accident 4 years go, I have had worse injuries crashing a bicycle. (in front of a group of firemen no less ) Even the bike has only one minor part that is easily fixed. All in all it was probably the safest easiest accident I could have experienced. It sucked. Even though everyone said I handled everything really well and avoided hitting the person who caused it and the on coming car The fact it was an accident is triggering all kinds of nasty from the BIG accident that killed my husband but left me and the girl in one piece. My mom is throwing a hissy. "You could have been killed." "Your angel was watching over you." "you were lucky you didn't have serious injuries" etc etc. I can't wait till she starts the campaign to have me sell the bike...which is not happening. My thoughts were: 1..I have been hurt worse on a bicycle. 2. My husband died surrounded by all the safety features the industry had to offer at the time..... 3. We won't even get into the guardian angel issue, because I feel it implies my husbands angel was sleeping on the job Has your view changed? are you less concerned about dying? Maybe Ive become ambivalent...not sure if that is good or bad. But it got me thinking....My views of death have changed quite a bit. Truly there is no safe option. You can die at any moment from any number of things/reasons. So it wasn't my day today. I wouldn't have been sad if it had. I don't fear it like i used to. Sure Id like to stick around till the girls estate is settled when she's 25, but if it happens oh well. But it seems that those around me who haven't been through this are still very anxious about the idea. Could my adventure today been worse? Oh yes, in so many ways it could have been. But so could about half a dozen other things I do on a daily basis. Just some things on my brain as I sit here and wait for the inevitable flashbacks

long shot but bumping in case anyone else is up like me tonight

So the tax thing I posted about a while ago has continued to decline into crazy town. Now its both my soon to be ex accountant and my sister. I don't know what is going on in his world but his continuous string of mistakes are putting me through hell. I will not be surprised if the IRS shows up on my doorstep because of all this mess. My sister refuses to have any patience and until today that was pretty stressful. After the event of today Im not sure I would have any more patience with the situation, unfortunately since none was given to begin with, it just keeps getting worse. I am out of state attending a dear woman's funeral. I called her mom and her family has adopted me as one of their own. Dad has been introducing me to everyone as his "other daughter". I adore this family and I miss mom so very much. She passed away on Mothers day from pancreatic cancer. Its hard being in this house full of memories without her. Ive been hugging all the siblings and dad often. making sure he is drinking his water and helping out where I can. tomorrow their church is having a huge service for her. She was well loved and very active in her church. She taught all the kids classes as well as was a kindergarten teacher for the school. Many generations of students have taught by her and it is expected to be a large event. Luckily Dad was convinced to skip the earlier church service so he can get some rest. I thought I could do this but I don't seem to be doing a good job. Im hiding in the house for a bit of quiet till my migraine meds kick in. Panic attack happened early but luckily I was out of the house dealing with the tax stuff when that happened. (tax things probably was the bigger trigger) I don't want to burden them with this mess at this time. I also didn't realize just how much my dog has been helping me in the panic department. He had to be boarded while I am gone for 3 3.5 days and man do I miss him. Thanks for letting me vent a bit. back to the family I go. I truly love this family and it hurts to see them in so much pain and to be able to stop it.

I think we not only grieve the loss of the person, but what that person represented to us as well. We grieve the loss of the actual person, their laugh, smile, silly jokes etc. But we also grieve that connection. The loss of the person we turn to in high stress situations. So here you have a very sick mom who has now passed away and instead of turning and leaning on him, you are grieving the loss of that outlet. You are also grieving the loss of your mom, which while completely different, is still grief. I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom. Big big hugs

Oh I know they spent money on her as did I. I have no problems with them claiming her. My issues are the way in which they are reacting to this mistake. It won't change so I don't know why I expect it to.

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Per her accountant they qualify for the deduction. My guy didn't ask questions or anything so that's all I have to go on. I do not want to know anything more on that end. I found out how they spent the social security check and that is enough to make me want to stab something (long long story). Ignorance in this matter is easiest and I am all about easy. Also it lessens the drama with my sister. I've already been accused of too many things in that arena and I just need this to be fixed and go away.

Hahahahahahaha I truly can't make this up: he is on vacation in Africa hahahahahahahaha Omg. This is just too funny. He sent a short reply that he will amend it when he returns from Africa but didn't tell me when that would be lol. Only my life I swear . Yes I believe him as he goes every year. I can't wait to tell her *sigh*. I will call the office tomorrow and hope someone can give me a date. It's a small family run thing so it's possible they are all with him

For 2015 no I didn't really pay for anything. I was when she first moved there but that was 2014 and they took complete advantage of my finances so I cut off the open ended resource and asked to do it differently. They refused and ended up paying it all themselves which is fine. I have no problems with her being claimed in theirs for the year. They deserve it. I would prefer to let my guy re-file. It gets way to sticky making deals with her. *sigh*. I thought most of the drama with her was behind me. This is the last piece. So I just have to breathe my way through.