We've dealt with feelings of guilt too. My (then) 5 year old spent the night away from home the day before his dad died and felt bad for a long time. I have my own "what if" feelings to deal with too. One of the things I read that has helped us the most was this...
Regret is normal, guilt unnecessary and unhelpful. If you tell yourself, or her, this enough it does help. Eventually.
If you'd like to read the entire article the quote was taken from you can find it at http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102011138. It's from a book written for teenagers and young adults and the article is "Is it normal to grieve the way I do?"
