Chopperette

I'm really glad you're ok PJ! I can't tell you if it has changed my view. I think it made me realized that the ONLY requirement for death, it's being alive! But the way we deal with it changes. Right now, sometimes I feel so guilty with the way I have reacted to my mother's death. She was inconditional; she was by everyone's side even if you didn't ask for her support. I think I mourned her more when my parents went to live to Brazil with my brother for two years, 18 years ago. Now, I kind of just accepted it, and I'm at peace with her death. I do miss her, but I'm not crying at a drop of a hat like I was when my husband died.

Oh Leslie, I'm so sorry! I hope you somehow find peace after this. A very tight hug to you, your daughter and son in law. I'll keep your family and that innocent soul in my prayers

I think you are over thinking it, which is very usual at first. I agree with the class. Go with the flow. No one it's going to be upset with you. You are going beyond your "duty" with your brother in law and that shows your good heart. If he over shares, so be it, that's what he needs to mourn the loss

She was 78 and before she had the ischemia she was so full of life and never had major health problems! I know she died but I think I'm still in some sort of denial. Still talking in present tense. The other day I told my daughter to use a coaster for her cup otherwise her grandmother would be upset. She just stared at me.

So I haven't been on the board lately, but I had to vent somewhere. My mom had some issues during the last year and a half. She had a cerebral ischemia and apparantely she had damage on some part of the brain were the appetite is controlled. She lost a lot of weight and we had a constant battle with her because she simply didn't want to eat at all. She also had problems with hyponatermia which is low levels of sodium. She had to take a lot of medicines so who knows in what condition her stomach was. Ultimately she had a gastrointestinal hemorrrage and there was nothing they could do. At least we had a doctor that does house calls and had the equipment at home, so she died in her bed sorrounded by her family. My dad is very sad and overwhelmed. We are 5 siblings and we are here all the time with him. So at the same time I think he needs some space. My kids were very attached to my mom (they were her favorites and she wasn't descreet abou it) and they are also having a very hard time. I'ts been only 3 years since my LH passed away. And on top of that my MIL isn't doing too good, I hope is not life or dead, but she is 87 yo! Thank you for hearing me out. (For those who don't know me.... excuse my writting; English is my second language)

Halloween with the kids! (They are 25 and 21 now)

(((((Lynn))))) My son went to live with my parents and he wouldn't come back. As a matter of fact he came back the day his father was hospitalized (8 years later). I know how you feel (actually I don't I can't imagine going thru that in addition to widowhood!). I don't know what rights she could have, but I just wanted to let you know you were heard and that I think your concerns are genuine. I hope you can make your sister see that while you are thankful for the support she gave you during a very difficult time, the time has come for her to be back to her momma!

I've been in another forum and I had Chopper as my screen name for two reasons 1 My husband was a helicopter pilot and broker 2 That was my dog's name. But Everyone asumed I was male due to the manly name LOL. So when I registered to ywbb at least I had the mind to improve the name to Chopperette so people could identify me as female.

When my dear sister told me the dentist (who is a friend and a widower) asked her how was I. She said she told him I was sad, but she tought I was better off without my LH!!!!!! I love my sister she has a good heart and tries to help everyone, but she is very insensitive and it's hard to love her!

WOW. Time flies! I feel like time is a matter of prespective! Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday that we were at the hospital! And when I think of the last time I spoke with him, it seems like it's been ages! Well here I am starting another year without him, starting with my birthday next Wednesday. Time will lessen the pain, but I doubt it will fade away completely! "Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them." -George Eliot

(((((Mel)))))

(((((SVS))))) We are going to make it. Sunday it's going to be here in a blink of an eye and we will be fine!

Last night she told me she felt so much better after getting that out of her chest!

(((((Baylee)))))

I agree with Annie, the responsibility is to be real. That way everyone can see that it's different for everyone. No marriage or relationship is the same so why should grieving be? We can relate to some extent but NO ONE can be in your shoes. And that is pretty clear since the first time you read a post. I feel that the old timers are a very valuable resource for the newbies and the not so newbies.