amy0520

My husband died 2 months after my DD started kindergarten. I pulled her out of school on the Friday that he died. I emailed her teacher over the weekend and let her know what happened. That Monday I called her school counselor to inform her, but the teacher had already informed her. Her school was very helpful in the first couple weeks. My daughter's teacher actually came to a memorial snowmobile race they had for my husband. This school year, her first grade teacher sent home a "get to know you" sheet that I filled out and let her know what happened. I think my DD was placed with a teacher who lost her father at a young age as well. I think a quick email or phone call to let them know what happened can't hurt.

A little background, my late husband had an accident at work that killed him almost 10 months ago and I have been fighting with worker's comp ever since. There was a discrepancy with the toxicology report, so the insurance company initially denied the claim. After a couple court dates of rescheduling, they agreed to settle. I have been waiting for this time to come for months, thinking I would have some relief. Sitting there in the court room, my lawyer was tearing up when we found out they agreed to settle. He looked at me, I guess expecting some kind of reaction from me. I just sat there dumbfounded, unable to speak. I felt no relief, just emptiness still. I feel slightly less stressed financially, but emotional unchanged. Nothing can change the reality that he is gone and never coming back. I don't know what I was thinking these past couple months, that once the worker's comp court stuff was over, that everything would magically be better. It's not. Next, I have to deal with a possible wrongful death suit. I relive those first couple days in my head, everyday. Now they might have to be verbalized with strangers. It's a very odd situation to be in. My feelings have been all over the place lately. Has anyone had to deal with legal proceedings surrounding their loved ones? How did you cope?

I've been seeing a grief counselor since about 3 months out. We meet every 2 weeks. I am not the type of person to write in a journal either or express my feelings openly. But I found that talking to someone that is not a family or friend, gives you a new perspective on things. Usually I am very emotional after I leave the appointment, but it does help to be able to express yourself without feeling that your being a burden on someone. It also helps not just with your grief, but with your own personal issues that you may be having. I definitely think that it can't hurt you to go and try it out.

It really sucks that people are just sitting behind a computer and deciding our fate, screwing us around with benefits that are owed to us. I'm still fighting with workers comp about my husbands death at work. I have a 2nd hearing next week. It just all really sucks that we have to go through this. Yes, money won't change that fact that they are gone, but it will ease our financial burden. I have the same feeling that I would forgo any money that I may receive just to have him back. Thinking of you.

I'm 5 months out and have been feeling the same feelings you are. I constantly think about the past and what could have been. It's hard not to. I'm terrified of the future and what is to come. I try not to think of it too much because it is overwhelming. I think we have to try an take this difficult journey day by day. Sometimes we can only take it minute by minute. I am finding that getting towards the six month mark is a struggle. This is totally unfair! It just sucks. I'm glad we have a place to vent. Sending hugs your way!

I thought there was only baby brain, until this whole widow thing happened. I seem to forget what day it is most of the time! I'm hoping it eventually gets back to "normal."