My moment was very clear but kind of silly, in the retelling. For so long I'd made choices based on what I needed to do for my grief rather than for me as an individual. Grief was in the driver's seat.
I eventually got to the point where I felt I had to start flirting with men again (like homework) because I knew I eventually wanted a relationship, but I was way out of practice. I picked a very safe flirtation option with a guy who's a huge flirt, so I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. My "moment" was when I decided to stop flirting with him because I didn't want to anymore. Not because I thought it was the next right thing in my grief journey, but because I didn't want to.
That was several months ago and I'm still 100% single, but I feel like I've reclaimed my life from grief. I'm coming up on two years, and there are still hard days. I will never forget B or my tremendous, earth-shaking love for him. But I'm still alive, still growing and changing, and I'm excited about what the future might bring.
I never thought I'd get here, and then suddenly (after receiving so much support and after so much hard, hard work) I am. Lots of love to everyone on this board, wherever you are in the process.