CMB

Thanks for your replies! I'm probably over-thinking this... it's just such a strange turn of events/emotions. Hugs to all!

I know this happens a lot to wids, so I'm curious: who's had experience falling for a friend of your DH/DW/DP? Did you act on it? how did you tell them? My situation, in brief: we're two years out, longtime friends (and both close to B), brought closer by B's death. I've been attracted to this guy for a long time but only recently LET myself be attracted to him. He is kind and funny and brilliant. In the early days I was revolted by the very idea of this happening (with anyone, much less a friend of B's)... yet here we are!

My moment was very clear but kind of silly, in the retelling. For so long I'd made choices based on what I needed to do for my grief rather than for me as an individual. Grief was in the driver's seat. I eventually got to the point where I felt I had to start flirting with men again (like homework) because I knew I eventually wanted a relationship, but I was way out of practice. I picked a very safe flirtation option with a guy who's a huge flirt, so I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. My "moment" was when I decided to stop flirting with him because I didn't want to anymore. Not because I thought it was the next right thing in my grief journey, but because I didn't want to. That was several months ago and I'm still 100% single, but I feel like I've reclaimed my life from grief. I'm coming up on two years, and there are still hard days. I will never forget B or my tremendous, earth-shaking love for him. But I'm still alive, still growing and changing, and I'm excited about what the future might bring. I never thought I'd get here, and then suddenly (after receiving so much support and after so much hard, hard work) I am. Lots of love to everyone on this board, wherever you are in the process.