In my last post, I mentioned that people told me things might get worse, and I'm sorry to say they were right. I didn't think it was possible. But it's been four weeks and one day since my husband died and for the past two days, I think I have cried nearly every waking moment. It's a sadness so intense I can barely breath. I'm actually starting to think that my husband was the lucky one if that makes any sense. His pain is over. We 're the ones that have to endure what seems like a lifetime of suffering now. It's like my life died with him and this new life seems so dark and depressing and unfair.
A friend emailed me today to tell me that she was out with some of our friends last night, and they just love me and think of me so much. How bad is it that I thought, "oh well that's just so sweet of you all. Getting back to your lives, going out and having fun, while my life is now worse than I ever could have imagined. But at least you're all thinking of me (sarcasm)".
Anyway, thanks for listening.