Viva

Julester3: I totally agree with you. My DH was such a perfect match for me and he was just the perfect guy for me. I thought we could have a lifelong relationship together. I tried not to compare other guys with home but how could I not doing that? My DH's qualities were just everything I was looking for. Some NGs were not even close to what I want. I'd rather not to have any relationship if there are no intellectual and physical connections. imissdow: I do exactly the same thing if the NG was doing something I don't like. I would start thinking "My DH never did that to me". I cannot control myself not to have that kind of thoughts. daysofelijah: I had a wonderful marriage. What I would think is that how come I need to choose someone again? How come my DH left me alone and making me have to pick someone again? I just hate that feeling.

Hi Julester3, that is exactly what I am feeling right now. My DH and I were just perfect match. We had so much fun and laughter together. Also he was just a person who knew me so well. I told myself not to compare anyone with my DH but I think we all would do it in our head? I just couldn't stop thinking My DH and I am just wondering if I can ever fall in love with anyone else again.

Recently I started to date someone else again after my DH passed away 3.5 years ago. Finally the NG and I didn't work out after dating for 2 months. I found myself missing my DH even more than before and the sadness of losing my DH starts to hit me hard again. Have you guys had the same feeling before? I suddenly feeling like going backward again. I just miss the wonderful time with my DH....

Thanks for all your support and I am thankful to have this forum to help me getting through of that difficult time. I think our lives will have some colors again with our spouses’ love. They will always in our hearts. （（Hugs）） P.S. Captains wife, yes...I lost my husband suddenly because he had a heart attack.

3 years ago today, I saw my DH alive for the last time. Watching him leaving me in a heart beat was the most heartbreaking moment in my life. I remember that evening was so cold and I was alone in the emergency room when I was told by a doctor, "I am sorry....we have tried our best". My head went blank and could not believe for what I heard. That moment was still very clear in my mind...even after 3 years. Life without him was extremely hard especially for the first two years. I cried before I went to sleep every single night for almost 2 years. Now 3 years passed by, I start to get used to the "forced to be single" life again. Everything seems going back to normal again but I still miss him every single day. I don't cry very often now but today......I cannot stop my tears...... I just miss him a lot a lot today...... :'( :'( :'(

Big hugs to you Maureen. It was my DH’s few days ago and he died 2 weeks later....I am approaching 3 years soon as well...

I said "I do" to my DH 4 years ago today but we did not even have a chance to celebrate our 2nd anniversary. I am doing better than before and asked some friends to have a nice dinner with me. I still miss him a lot though.......

I finally made it for two years but so what？He has gone for 2 years today and I still miss him a lot. When my friends tried to comfort me by saying ?He is still with us / He hasn?t left/ He is watching over you? but I just don?t feel they are helping at all. My DH had left, I cannot feel him, I cannot touch him, I cannot hug him and I cannot kiss him anymore. Do they get it？ I feel I am like riding on a roller coaster again......

I did sign up for eHarmony too but it does?t work very well for me.I guess because I am not living in the US and that is impossible to meet anyone in person for coffee. I did sign up for a while before I met my husband though and I think the matches in those days were better. I have no clue how to meet new guys again honestly. Every time the thoughts of not being able to be with my DH and maybe need to be with someone else just making me start to cry. :'(

Thanks Rob. I remember a good girl friend of mine was having dinner with me 10 months after my husband died, she told me, ?You have been mentioning your husband too much and you need to move on！?. I told her his death was like part of me had gone with him and I still missed him a lot. She even said I was making excuses for not moving on. I still remember I was having the same anger as what the guy told me, ?You should get over it.? They just dont know I will never get over it even almost 2 years by now. I think I will just have to live with it. I will always remember my DH and it was not our choice to end our marraige! If those people don?t get it that?s fine and I?d rather they can keep their mouths shut. Also I dont need to be criticized of how many times I mention my DH by those people!!

Jen: I totally agree with you. My DH also wasn?t perfect but he was definitely perfect for me. I didnt think I would need to date again as well. Max: I was so happy like I had won a lottery ticket when I was with my DH until he died. Therefore I do undestand what you feel. ((Hugs)) to you all.

OK my DH will be gone for two years this month. So I talked to a guy who met on some sort of dating site about it (we just texted and never talked on the phone) . I told him this month is particular hard for me because my DH's birthday and the death date were in January. Then he just said "You should get over it." and "I notice this event is causing you trouble." Therefore I told him this is a part of grieving process. Then he just told me " try not to grieve or suffer more then naturally person should". Somehow I felt very angry and didn't even want to continue the communication. I felt he didn't even want to try to understand what I feel. Sometimes I really don't know when is the right time to disclose this part to a guy. A few guys stopped talking to me once they knew that I am widowed. I hate that feeling of being out of the so-called dating world again because I had already found the perfect guy I wanted. Sometimes I wonder why do I need to do this again? I feel a bit upset about this now.

Congratulations !!!

Maureen I feel exactly the same. I always feel cannot start my new year in January as well. I would call it a ?heartbreaking month?.

((Hugs)) to you too Jen! My hubby's death date is two weeks after his birthday... All in January. I start to feel my heart is breaking again in January..

Today is supposed to be his Birthday.... Obviously nothing to celebrate but tears. Facebook likes to remind me with the pictures of him and I taken together 2 years ago, his last birthday celebration on earth. I just hate this function and it upsets me. Therefore I finally set the date to stop facebook to show me the pictures from a certain period. I prefer to stop it completely but there is no such option. Anyway, I just miss him miss him and miss him......

Jen, I am feeling the same lately as well. It has been one year and 8 months for me and everyone feels I am doing ok. I am also loved, supported by a lot of people and I am grateful for that. However I miss the days we were together, being hugged, kissed by my DH. I still miss him every single day and even more lately. I do understand how that feels.... (((hugs)))

You know when people tell me ?He is watching over you.? or ?He would know it.? or ?He is still with you.? something like that. I cannot make any response and always smile with bitter. I want to tell them that he is not with me, he is not there for me and he would not know. I do not find these comforting at all.

I feel much better after reading all of your posts. We all do not want to be here but I am glad that I can share all these feelings with all of you. I just wanna give my big hugs to all of you.

Thanks anniegirl. I feel better after reading your post. I just feel strange that I am like moving forward of my life but sometimes the emotion would just like going back. It is so hard to describe that feeling, I think it is like a new me walking in the old emotion at the same time. I am sorry my words are confusing here.

It has been almost one year and a half. I don?t know why I start missing him terribly lately. I feel so heavy in my heart and that ?why would you leave me so early? question is in my head again. There was a time I almost felt ok but now is like going back to the beginning again. I think I just miss him......

It has been almost one year and 4 months now, there was a moment I thought I was getting better. However the sadness and the feeling of missing him is suddenly getting stronger for the past few weeks and I could not control my tears and just cry on a bus. I guess there is still a long way to go.

Today would have been our 3rd wedding anniversary and we only got to celebrate once....too bad....... I miss him......