Sueismylife-eternally

Chocolate is a wonderful thing. Make that 1 vote for chocolate.

I've learned about a young widow group in St.Paul and I'm trying to get connected with that. Of I have my therapist, and I belong to a couple of grief support groups. But I'm finding I just need friends who truly understand that I can talk to. Trying to just make everyday special.

Wanted to put the word out for the MN Renaissance Festival in September 2015. Thought it would be great to make it a Ren-Bago. The two weekends my wife and I went to the most were the Irish Weekend 9/19-20 and the Chocolate Weekend 9/26-27. Let me know if either of these would work. We went to the Renaissance every year and I just don't know if I can go back. Maybe with support we will all be able to heal. Let me know. The website for the Renaissance is http://www.renaissancefest.com Thank you all for all of your support, James

Just need someone to talk to. Being alone is so very difficult. Today it feels like the world is crashing down on me and I can't breathe. How I wish Sue was here.

thank you so much for your story. I'm very new to this and as you know it is very difficult. I don't hurt per say but I feel like my heart has been ripped out, gutted with a jagged spoon and put back in my chest. I feel empty and raw. When others see me they say I give them hope, courage, and strength because they see the strength that I have. They never get to see me at home. I'm very lonely and it hurts more than anything I have ever experienced or feel I ever will. Sue is everything to me and I just don't see ever being whole again. I'm studying to become a Grief Educator and Counselor which helps me feel closer to Sue, but I still just want to hold her again.

I don't think we can ever have TMI. We are all in the same boat, and as you said we need to be able to communicate, however we need to do that. I received some advice/observation today from Justin. He said that "growing your life will help you move around the grief" This meant a lot because I'm actually living my life thru grief and honoring Sue as well. I'm now going to school, again, to obtain my Ph.D. in Psychology with an emphasis is Grief Education and Counseling. I've found the more I study and talk to others I feel her presence even stronger. I've even been asked by a college here in town to come and talk to some of their classes about grief. I still constantly think about Sue every minute of my day, but I've learned to use this as a source of strength. I'm studying a lot about grief and have learned we all experience it differently and they're really no stages you go thru. Every feeling you have is yours, how you cope with it is the key. Most days I feel completely alone, but I force myself to go out to be around people. Now that I've found all of you hopefully some of that alone feeling will decrease. Thank you for this amazing forum

I lost my eternal companion on December 24, 2014, Christmas will never be the same again. The last 12 weeks have been extremely difficult, but at the same time have also been hopeful. Sue was only 35 when she passed away. I celebrated her 36th birthday on February 10th with Roses and Balloons and our 6th Anniversary on March 8th with more of both. Sue was/is absolutely everything to me. I never knew how emotionally weak I was, this journey is very difficult. I find I'm struggling the most with the physical loss, we did everything together including holding hands in bed before we feel asleep. Everyday I would massage her back and feet for her. I feel so at loss without being able to touch her. How do you get past what makes us human? We are physical.