ThalginsLuv

Right now I would say lunch out! There is no way I want family all day in my home while cooking by myself and dealing with an infant and all the dishes afterward. ugh! You have a chance to take a quick vacation for 3 days. Do you... book a hotel room and get out of town -or- pack a tent and ice chest to head for the mountains?

I was the one who always took the cars to get the tires but only after my husband checked them out first. Since he worked more I would go on my days off to take the cars to the shop for him. Checking the mail everyday was his job too. Here it is 16 months later I am reading your post going "Aww 'F' when was the last time I checked the mail?" I just can't seem to remember to check it more than once a week. I find all these things that were HIS jobs and I really resent doing them because I know how much HE enjoyed these jobs. He loved taking care of my daughter and me. I miss seeing his joyful face.

I am on the "I hate people" band wagon too. When your loved one is gone or sick you get inundated with all the bullshit of: - just call if you need anything - I am so sorry for your loss... what can i do... - I am here and just a phone call away... ... and so on. Then when you DO call, all of these phone "do- gooders" just seem to vaporize. It's like the freak out because they didn't actually expect YOU to call so if they can ignore your or pretend you don't exists then you will just go away. Sometimes I feel like we are the diseased ones. You know that widowhood is contagious or something. I can now see why it is to easy for people to fall into the sway of cults, communes, and such. Hell I think I want to start my own cult and keep these phony asses out!

11/5/2013 and he didn't come home from work. It was really weird because I had this feeling for like 2 weeks that something wasn't right. Husband and I were wrapping up our big Halloween event that we have been doing for 15 years. But this year was different. He didn't even wear his costume because he shoulder was bugging him. He kept saying he had a knot under his right shoulder blade. For days I would massage him, we went faithfully to the chiropractor and he kept taking Advil to relax the muscles in his back. He figured he was sore from all the Halloween construction we do. However the day he died he woke up and said, "Damn, now its the other side that has the knot! I must have slept wrong." He took a long shower and I rubbed his back and shoulder on the other side this time. He said he felt better, kissed me and our 8 yr old daughter goodbye and left for work. Something told me that was the last time I was going to see him but I didn't know why. Around noon my home phone rang. I normally screen my home phone because of telemarketers and everyone of importance calls my cell. But this time I knew. It started to go to the answering machine and the person hung up just before I picked it up. I started to run for my cell when the home phone rang again. It was my husbands job telling me he collapsed at work and the ambulance was taking him to the hospital. He has been complaining that his back/ shoulder hurt and he got up from his desk and fell into a coworkers arms. It was that quick. He was gone at 40. 2 weeks later we did his funeral service and the week after that I found out I was pregnant. Mind you we were trying to have more children years earlier. But we had 2 miscarriages and failed fertility so we gave up. Plus I was on medication that shouldn't allowed us to get pregnant and the fertility doctors told me my chances were slim to none. I figured my baby was conceived 3 days before he died. Now I have an almost 8 month baby girl who is fair skinned, very blond and blue eyes like her daddy was. Yes he was overweight, yes he was a former smoker, yes he had severe allergies and sleep apnea. But he was very active, no other heart problems, and a good cholesterol screening, good blood pressure, good blood sugar, etc. It took almost 10 months for me to get his autopsy report back. His artery just completely gave out. It wasn't Atherosclerotic Cardiac Disease but is was something close to that or a form of that. I just cant remember the exact wording.

Wow how incredibly special that is! They say we repeat family patterns ... and usually it is something negative... but this is just so amazing. I bet that when your daughter grows up she will take her kids to Italy too. It's almost like it's yours and Cindy's legacy.

1. My mom is healed enough from an illness that she was able to move out of here and back to her home. 2. My house is finally quite now that the baby went to sleep and my mom is gone. 3. I am going to the cabin this weekend.

My younger brother and I have ALWAYS been close but now I just don't know who he is. He married young, to a psycho (CC) and had 2 children with her. My husband and I supported him through an ugly divorce and helped him with his children. My niece is now in first grade and my nephew will be 12 soon. The nephew (DN) has mental issues and basically has a much more severe form of bi-polar and other disorders. DN has reached his maturity level and my brother has full custody of him since CC is unfit. However CC still gets visitations with DN and she fills DN with so much negativity that by the time DN comes home he is ready to explode. My brother decided to RUSH into another marriage with psycho 2 (the princess) 5 months after his divorce was final from CC. They met, "fell in love", eloped and THEN decided to move in together to create a blended family. She has a boy and girl who are both now teens and both still mama's babies. Brother and princess have been together for 3 years now and guess what ... things aren't working... well duh! Her son didn't like the arrangement (plus he has his own issues- possible OCD) and moved out to live with his dad 18 months ago. Now my DN and him didn't get along and I know my DN caused some of the issues. However Princess can't handle that her son is flourishing with his father. She blames my DN and has never let him live it down. I know my DN can be violent and he needs a lot of attention but he responds well to routine and established authority. Unfortunately his mom (CC) has encourage my DN to be mean and aggressive to his step mom, princess. However princess KNEW DN issues before she married my brother and she KNEW how bad CC was. All princess really needs to do is to be aggressive BACK to my DN and establish authority and demand respect. Instead she would rather play the victim and make my brother feel guilty. When my husband was alive we discussed many times about having my DN move in. We were willing to take him issues and all. The difference is that both my husband and I taught my DN early on that we would NOT tolerate ANY of his violent behavior. Our job as his aunt and uncle (and parents ourselves) was to do 3 things : #1, teach our kids to be smart, #2 teach our kids to be strong, #3 teach our kids to be safe. We taught him that if WE allowed him to be violent then WE were not doing our jobs right and WE would immediately call the police to come help US do our job. If that meant the police came to take him away then WE would let that happen. There is no doubt in my DN mind that I would call the police if I needed to. He knows all the fun things in our house is earned and he is encouraged to be himself. But he has just as many responsibilities as the rest of us. Even now with my husband gone and with the baby he STILL respects our rules. He tells me all the time that he wish he could have lived with us when my husband was alive and how he would still like to live with me now. However princess refuses to establish authority. She says (in front of him) how afraid she is of him and how she doesn't want him in HER house. She really over reacts whenever my DN is near her. For example my DN walked into the kitchen to get a cup of water and she hurried out of the kitchen frighten like to get away from my DN. I have witnessed this. DN was only getting water, he was happy, not mad or anything but she rushed away from him anyway and DN noticed this too. This increased tension between my DN and my brother. DN sees princess as the reason why he can't have his father's attention which causes more problems. My DN has had to stay at my house or my mothers house because princess didn't want him home. So my DN behavior escalated and he ended up in a home/ hospital designed for children like him. Mind you we didn't have these issues when he was with me or my mothers house, just when he went home. I am glad he went to the hospital because we learned so much about his condition along with him learning coping skills. DN has been there since 12/23/2014. My brother took this as a vacation from his son and a way to appease princess more. Brother even got baptized in HER religion (even when he told me he didn't believe in her religion) to save their marriage. Then the hospital at one point said they wanted to send DN home because he was doing so well and they had his meds regulated. My brother then says he can't bring DN home because princess will leave him and that he was thinking of going to visit DN at the hospital in hopes of causing my DN to have an "episode" so the hospital would keep him longer! WTF!!!!!!!! Now a few weeks later my nephew has been released but my brother will not allow him to come home! This child is at my mother's again! My mother lives in a tiny 1 bedroom place in a SENIOR ONLY community! She can get evicted for having my nephew live with her. I am so angry at this. Then my brother says he is looking for a place to move because he and princess are temporarily splitting up but not to worry because the CHURCH is helping them because they know my nephew is the reason for the marital troubles. AGGGGHHH! I hope he divorces, I hope he can be a real father to his son again. I am so mad at how he BLAMES my DN for ALL of his marital problems. God I wish I had the ability to take my DN full time and give him a sense of stability. I know that if my husband were alive we would take my DN legally and tell my brother and his princess to "F" off!