the_master

Thanks... It's nice to finally find a more suitable forum. Nothing against them, I just have a hard time relating.

I married my beautiful wife on 3/1/14. On 2/19/15, she was gone, forever... 356 days. We didn't get ONE anniversary. I am also a member over at Daily Strength's widows/widowers forum, but most of them are in their 60s & 70s. It's difficult to identify with them, as they had 20-30 years with their spouses. 3 years ago, I hadn't even met my wife, yet. It makes me extremely angry.

I'm coming up on week 10 on Thursday... My wife died 2/19/15. Sometimes, it's real and sometimes, it's impossible to believe that she is gone, forever. It makes me crazy, the attack of emotions. I used to be a pretty logical guy. She went to bed with me, normal on 2/18. Next morning, she was just gone.

I also get suicidal thoughts. However, I don't do it because of my daughter. But I have no interest in living another 20-30 years. I am in my mid-40s, diabetic, high blood pressure, etc. I see my parents, in their mid to late 70s. Not happy people... I'm fine, checking out in a few years or so. I'm just not going to do it, myself.