I don't have a lot of advice that others haven't already given, but your comment about trying to keep busy struck me. I just hit 10 yrs on 4/10. I think to the outside world I am "doing great". I am even happily remarried. But I can tell you I still have difficult times sometimes. This month with the 10 year mark was incredibly hard.
I am struggling tremendously with anxiety right now, and I think I might also be depressed. No, that's not accurate. I know I am. I think I probably have had issues with it for the last 10+ yrs but I spent the entire time focused & worrying about making sure my kids were ok, telling myself if they were ok I would be ok. Pretending I was ok, because everyone thought I should be after a couple yrs. Looking back I should have seen someone to get help. Then I met a good man and it was a whirlwind few yrs moving & blending and again I was so busy that I think a lot of that "stuff" got pushed down again.
I've had 2 panic attacks the last couple of months and I've never had them in my life. I didn't even know what they were until after the 2nd one. The blending thing with his adult kids is NOT great, they don't really like me, NH is laid off again, & my daughter is struggling again with extreme depression/anxiety of her own which makes mine pale in comparison. She has struggled SO much since her dad died..she had bulimia too. I am on overload and keeping busy for me just doesn't work anymore. I think it's finally time for me to actually say the words to a doctor and probably get some meds. I have an appt in 2 wks. I do exercise (zumba), I do have a support system of a few close friends I can talk to. It's not working for me anymore.
Ppl posted some good advice, I hope you can find some relief soon. Hugs to you. <3
