literatelier

I know this is a little off topic, but I'm noticing this same feeling, sooo much. I'm living alone now, and terrified someone is going to break in. It's a thought that never even crossed my mind before! I can't sleep well at night because every sound wakes me up thinking someone is coming inside. So I get this feeling, I guess is what I'm saying.

Hi everyone My name is Peggy and I lost my fiance Chris on August 8th. I just turned 31 last week, and he would have been 30 this week. He fell 40ft from a waterfall while hiking and I'm told he died almost instantly. He was brilliant and so funny. He sometimes would hold me in bed and sing You Are My Sunshine to me. He ate bread/rice/spaghetti and ketchup almost exclusively and yet was 6'5". When we lay in spoons, he was the perfect fit. We were always touching; when home we were always in the same room together, touching in some way whether it was just feet or elbows. He was playful and happy, and his favorite thing to do was make fun of me. We fought a lot, too, mostly about stupid things like chores. But I love him so much. I feel like there's a literal part of me missing, like a phantom limb. My bed is too big. He'll never break my pillows or steal the covers or kiss me again. Maybe I died and this is hell.