brandylee

Im glad theres someone it makes sense too...well not glad it does. But glad weve found a place to be. Its better than trying to comfort someoe else from their discomfort of our situation

Austin. His name was austin. His named was dad to our kids. He never, ever criticized my many flaws, and was the funniest, most cynical persoh i knew. Or anyone who knew him knew. The world is less funny now. It is more naggy. There is more bullshit. He just wanted to be left alone, to love us, to watch the walking dead. His name was austin. When i say "was" it chokes me. Hes been gone since ausgust 31 . Austin was young, strong. So that he is suddenly gone takes the breath right out of me several times a day. Austin appears in my dreams most nights. I have to remind myself of the awful new life we have to live without austin. Austin was my husband. I feel that he still is. Some people probably think thats crazy. I dont care. Austin, i miss you. It hurts so bad. I just miss you.

Im brandy. Today would have been austin's 37th birthday. He died kn august 31 this year in a car crash. We had three very handful like kids 9, 5 and 2. Im still feeling like now i just have to crawl.through this shitty new life that i hate. We were each other's best friends, so we pretty much spent any time he wasn't working together (i was a housewife/ stay at home mom/ whatever phrase offends you the east bc i dont care.) My three little handfuls make it impossible to greive. Theyre busy fighting, being hyper, breaking stuff, etc. In some ways thts probably lucky, but it means i burst into weird.child-like snivel-fits my husband probably would hsve made fun of.lol,i miss his sick sense of.humor like that. Existing hurts right now, but its totally necessary because of the kids.

My 9 year old girl, "i hope.there is a.heaven. ...and i really hope dad sneaks up behind michael jackson and nonchalantly slaps him upside the head.

My name is brandy. Im 35, and lost my husband of 12 years to a single car crash. We have 3 kids together who are big handfuls 9, 5r and 2 years old. Its rfeally, really hard to grieve when you are dealing with something kid related at every moment. He was working on a ranch, and part of our compensation was hiusing, so i had to move very quickly on top of it. In fact, i still havent found a new place to live. I have a trailer house..yay...opening up in about 3 weeks, so i have my kids on vacation at the oregon coast. Im trying real hard. We really were best friends...id never post something about that on facebook, because he was a man and things like that would have embarrassed him. But that was part of why we worked so well...we were always considerate if each others ways instead of trying to change or criticize. Having tons of my own flawss but a husband who loved me and took care of me...and let me love and take care of him...was one of the luckiest things ever. So i often feel very pissed off about working hard to have what we wanted and having it ripped away. Even though we were kind of doing the traditional thing...housewife, man providing, etc. We were also really liberal and non religious. I find myself wishing i had some faith to fall back on. Or my kids. But it all seems too foreign. Anyway thats all i know for now.