I started dating a girl that I met on an online dating site about 4 months after my wife had passed. I was lonely and really wanted some companionship and little did I know that I would fall crazy in love with literally the first girl that I sent a message to. We had an awesome relationship for the better part of a year, we waited 6 months to make sure it was going to last before I introduced her to my then 5yo daughter. I didn't even have to think about telling her I loved her, it just came out one day about 3 months into the relationship and it felt right, she said the same.
In any case around our one year mark her current employment situation was not going so well and she started interviewing for different jobs. We were in NY at the time and one job was in OH, and the other in NC. She was very open with me throughout the whole process. Having only known her for a year I told her to follow her heart and not make a decision based on me, but I told her that I had always thought NC would be a cool place to live. I had lived in NY my entire life and wasn't sure that I could muster up the courage to move. She picked the job in OH, which is the cream of the crop for her profession. We decided we would try the long distance relationship. A few months later I was offered a job in NC, and being super stressed in my current situation in NY I thought a fresh start would be great for my daughter and me as well as it would make us significantly closer to her in Ohio (although still 5 hours away, but better than 12)
We continued to date long distance for the better part of year 2, seeing each other almost monthly and texting \ facetiming daily. The relationship was great, we almost never argue, we had a ton in common, we discussed marriage \ kids we're on the same page, until she started pressing me to move to be with her in OH and I told her I wasn't sure I could do it. We broke up for a few months over my unwillingness to move but we got back together after 2 months apart because we both realized what we had was really something special. Things went great again for another 8 months until we started talking about me moving again. (She would never be able to find a job where I live) We broke up again, but remained in contact for the past 4 months. We have both tried dating other people but we always come back to one another. I told her that I feel like she is my soul mate, we connect on just about every level. We both feel this way about each other, but I don't know what it is that has me so fearful to move there. Our relationship is wonderful, my daughter loves her like a mother, I want to have a family with her. Having been through all the negatives the past few years I just worry about the "what-if's" and it's not just me that I have to worry about but also my 8yo daughter. My daughter and I otherwise love our new home in NC, but I have an empty spot in my heart without her in our lives. My job allows me to move so employment is not a concern. On one hand I feel like with everything we have been through I don't want to be left thinking what could have been. I'm 39 and she is 36 so our window to have kids if we are going to do it is not going to be around forever. We've been talking about our life together for the past few weeks and I just don't know what I should do, I often ask myself why can't life be easy once and a while?
