Mac

You are better off to end it hard and final.

Stay single a while until you love who you are and your life.

Then find a top quality man...I'll say it again....MAN not a boy.

Some real men do still exist.

Not all are game players, into immature shit, have loser jobs, can't hold a real conversation.

Find a man.

He should hold the door.

Drive a real car or truck.

Have a job that has a solid future.

Not live with his dad.

Never smoke or do drugs or play video games.

Own a house.

Max 2 drinks a week of alcohol....and i mean maximum....2 a year is better.

Not wear crap in his hair.

Dress like a man....and not carry a purse.

Date a man!

Let others be stuck with the boys.

I drive a real car and a real truck. However, I do like more than 2 glasses of wine most weeks and I do occasionally play video games! 

I surround her with gratitude. I see her smiling as she watches our son and our daughter living their lives.

I'm four years out. These are more big things vs. little things. The little things do come up on a regular basis. Cindy would love to see how happy and how well our children are doing. Our daughter got married last month to a wonderful man. Our son graduated from college and is so happy to finally have a place of his own with his girlfriend.

Cindy wrote me many a letter and many a note back in the days. Just finished reading one today. So grateful for her love, our life together and these wonderful notes.

Wow, 41! I'm certain that you must have some stories. Sending you good thoughts and wishing you good luck. What a crazy world that we find ourselves in.

mikeeh, sending good thoughts your way. I was married for 28 years. What a whole new world for me = dating and new relationships. So much to experience, combined with all of the other things to go through/experience post loss.

I went out with one woman for 9 months. There were so many great things about her and I thought that she might be "the one." Ultimately, I realized that we weren't a good fit long-term. Even though I knew that breaking up was best, it was still painful and I was tempted to try to reconnect.

I did date some after that. Things went pretty well there. With time and experience I've gotten a better idea of compatibility and what's most important to me. I'm in a relationship now with an incredible woman and we are very compatible.

I hope all the best for you. If things don't work out for you with your ex-girlfriend in the future, I hope that you will find someone that you are mutually compatible with and who is amazing. Best of luck to you!

Mimi, sorry to hear about your son's split. I just passed the four year mark last month. I'm glad to hear that things are working out so well for you with your new marriage. Congratulations!

Cindy, we rocked this world!

I am so sorry marian. Sending (((marian53))) and good thoughts your way.

So sorry to hear that. Sending good thoughts your way DT.

Maybe it’s because last week was the 4 year anniversary of your passing.

Maybe it’s because our daughter is getting married in 3 weeks.

Maybe it’s because of last weekend, spent with the guests from Australia.

Maybe it’s because of the time spent with our son recently.

Whatever it is, I can’t stop thinking about you.

Thinking about when we first became a couple and all that followed.

Our life together was what I had hoped for in life and it was beyond my dreams.

DW and I were the same age. I've dated women who have ranged in age from 14 years younger to 6 years older than I am. Age doesn't matter much to me.

Early on, DD who has been so encouraging with my dating gave me the following request: "Dad, i would prefer that you would date someone who is closer to you in age than me."

1. We are doing well as a family.

2. I'm grateful for so many cool people past and present.

3 The future, what's that? It will all work out.

Mac, it's good you share that trait as it could be a sticky point for some. I would be looking for that giving spirit in any future lady, to loosely quote St. Francis "It's in giving of ourselves that we receive".

That's a beautiful quote. The Prayer of St. Francis was one of DW's favorite songs. I included it in the brochure that I made for her funeral and that was one of the songs that we sang at her funeral.

I was in a relationship for nine months with a very nice woman. There were many good things about her and the time that we spent together. But ultimately I realized that we weren't compatible long-term. She definitely wasn't as much of a giver.

My girlfriend brought up a good point the other day, she said how wonderful it is that we are both "givers." I've always been a giver, probably too much of one occasionally. DW was a giver too, all through her life she went to extraordinary lengths to help others. GF has always been a giver, it's how she's wired. It certainly does make for a more balanced relationship.

I have found myself using the word "I" more instead of "we." Especially when talking about all of the places that we traveled to around the world.

I talk openly about Cindy to my girlfriend. She talks to me about her late husband. There isn't any weirdness or uncomfortable feelings. She is a widow. We are both confident people and we both have high self esteem. There is a sense of joy when hearing about the wonderful marriages that we both had. That shaped who we are today and who are children are. Grateful for that!

(((Mel)))

1. It's a beautiful sunny day here in Colorado.

2. I'm feeling so much gratitude for the wonderful life that I had with Cindy.

3. Things have been going well for/with my daughter and my son.

Such a talented artist. Wishing all the best for his wife. I saw him in 1983 at the US Festival. What an incredible performance.

1. Gratitude is on overdrive lately.

2. I've got a way cool girlfriend (what a funny word).

3. I don't worry about much these days.

Congratulations! Wishing you all the best. What a crazy life!

This was the fourth Christmas without Cindy. There really wasn?t much sadness. Weirdness yes, sadness not so much.

My daughter and her fianc?e were at his parents for Christmas. I am so happy for her. I?m glad that his family is so kind and loving to her. My son was here. He?s in his last year of college. It has been so nice to spend so much time with him. It has been nice to cook for him and to spoil him some. Cindy & I met in college. I look at my children and remember when I was their ages. What I was going through. What my hopes and dreams were. I hope that they will be as blessed as I have been.

The first couple of Christmases were filled with so much sadness. Things have gotten better with time. I have adjusted to celebrating as a family of three.

I did spend some time watching videos of all the Christmases that we spent together. At times they do bring tears. Tears of emotion, tears remembering 28 years as a couple and 37 years of friendship. But not much sadness anymore, I have so much gratitude for so very much.

But there is so much weirdness. It still does not compute that we are not spending our lives together. It still does not compute that I am not talking to Cindy in person everyday. What is this bizarre life that I find myself in? It is a good life. I do have much to be grateful for in my present life, but it is all still so weird and so surreal.

As others have said, you didn't fail anyone. Hugs to you.

mac    You're usually upbeat, hope you're okay?

Thanks so much trying2breathe. I'm doing fine. Just a statement of how I'm feeling, certainly more of living in the now and discovering an incredibly whole new life.

One re-occurring thought: "The love that you gave me and left me with, makes this all so much easier!" I do have much to be grateful for.

I was married for 27-1/2 years. I have been widowed for 3-1/2 years. At first I was more interested in dating and potentially remarrying.  Things did go well. It has been easy to meet women. People have introduced me to their friends, I?ve met women through social interaction and I have done online dating. Dating is so much easier compared to when I was a young man. I did enjoy the fact that so many women were interested in me. But as this ?journey? has progressed I have adjusted more to my ?new life.?

Early on, a couple of people said to me: ?So many men remarry in the first couple of years, but we don?t see you doing that. You and Cindy were such a great couple but you were both so independent.? There is much truth to that.

I did so much by myself when I was a child and when I was a young man. Exotic adventures done alone by choice. I miss Cindy so much, but with time I have adjusted to my new life. I don?t ever feel lonely or alone anymore. I do enjoy my time spent alone.

I am in a relationship with an amazing woman. Sometimes it might be two or more weeks until we see each other. I am open to being in a long-term committed relationship. I am also quite content to be by myself. I?ll see what the future holds. I am optimistic and do trust in it.

Congratulations Mimi! Wishing you much happiness and so much fun!