I'm not sure why it took me so long to get here?! I honestly didn't know about the new site for a long time and one of our fellow wids told me about it and here I am finally. I was on YWBB as mony as well and I have to say that I'm missed having a place as an outlet to go to.
My Jose died 3 years ago yesterday, the 18th. His official cause of death was liver failure, but he struggled with mental illness for most of his life.....I think of that as the cause of his death, but that's just how I look at it. I'm 33, still trying to figure out this new life of mine, still trying to figure out how to be happy again one day. I feel like life has somewhat stood still in these last 3 years and honestly, can't believe it's been that long. It still feels like it just happened, but since yesterday was the "day", I could just be feeling down more than usual.
I may not have posted all that much on the last board, but I read A LOT! I don't know how I would have survived without finding others on here who actually understood what I felt, and how I felt. I was truly in a fog my first year and diagnosed with PTSD when I finally found a therapist a year after he passed.....which helped explained a lot of my craziness. Each day is still a struggle, even this far out. Some days of course are easier and I am able to manage a lot of anxiety and fear, but not all of the time. Anyways, I am so glad to be back to a place of understanding with all of you.
