Feeling guilty

[tmppgh2015]

I just got back from an amazing trip to Greece with friends. I feel like a brat when I say to people that it was nice but so many pieces are missing. I know I am blessed I was able to take the trip. Going through the trip and coming back to reality is so hard. It just makes you miss your partner you would've shared so much with. I sat on a ferry ride looking at beautiful scenery and crying my eyes out cause all I could think about was how much I missed my best friend. No he wouldn't have been able to travel on this trip with me but he would've enjoyed checking in and hearing all about it. I have no children and it really showed me how it didn't matter if something happened to me on this trip cause no one checks in. Not that I don't have people that care about me. I am blessed in that category, however, they get wrapped up in their own lives. If I don't show up at home. They will

Realize it the next time they go to check in with me, not immediately. All that I come to the conclusion every time I think about my situation is it just sucks! End rant!

[SoVerySad]

Well, it does suck. It is sad that even the beautiful moments we start to rediscover are mostly always accompanied by a sense of sadness that our loves aren't here to share them with us. I don't think you should feel guilty for your feelings. Being blessed in other ways can't replace the loss we've been through in the really meaningful ways you mentioned.

 

Tight hugs...

[Guest mawidow]

ohmygosh, yes, it sucks. It is so painful to feel the hollow place where our spouse "should" be when traveling. I, too, have had many nights where no one gives a s**t if I make it home. I found traveling absolutely excruciating for the first 2 years. (also, concerts, movies, shows, etc.)

 

I just took a trip during which I was actually able to tolerate the loss, but I am over 2 years out. Sending support.