Two years

[Silwe]

So...Last night, 22 minutes past midnight, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. Exactly two years ago my fianc? died at the hospital after two hours of attempts to save his life.

I fell apart completely, in a way I haven't done in half a year. All those memories came to me clear and so, so painful. I believe I don't even actually remember just how painful it was, and still the memory of it is almost too much to stand.

Two years ago, at half past one I woke up to a call from my fiance's mother. After the call I think I remember walking around the apartment in a daze, just crying and screaming incoherently. I couldn't help but to do it, and yet it didn't make it feel any easier. I have never felt such emotional pain - I thought it literally felt like I was being stabbed over and over again. These memories haunted me last night... it's a wonder I was able to fall asleep at all.

[Virgo]

It is a pain that is so hard to describe to someone that hasn't experienced it themselves. We all know your pain. ((hugs)) I'm glad you were able to get some sleep.

[Jen]

I have never felt such emotional pain - I thought it literally felt like I was being stabbed over and over again.

 

I remember that pain. It was horrible-- I didn't know a person could feel something so terrible and survive it. (((((((HUGS))))))))

[Captains wife]

Im so sorry - the flashbacks can be really awful and unsettling. Just over 3 years ago I was woken by a call from the Coast Guard, my husband was missing for 11 hours and then I got the final call. The pain when I think about that night is unbearable. Please do what you can to "feel better" - when I couldn't sleep, I tried to distract myself, also tried meditation/yoga, listening to CDs, worked out and kept so busy in the day I would just konk out. Also big hugs to you.