Back in the pit

[Guest Mel4072]

Things have been really good lately. Job is good. Grad courses are good. Family is good. New car. I'm healthy. I've got wonderful friends. House is in good shape. I'm engaged. I can't complain. But yesterday, leaving work, in a glorious mood, a song came on the radio "Faithfully" which has NO meaning from my past but it sent me right down into the pit. Missing my late husband and the life we had. Then I felt tremendous guilt for being engaged to another man. I felt like I betrayed him and our marriage. There are two voices inside my head arguing over what is right. One says "life is good, you fulfilled your vows", the other says "you deserve crap because you were supposed to be faithful forever and you haven't been". Well, this will be a process. It's the feelings that make me stop and think about my thoughts. The feelings are all mixed with grief. Oh how I miss the innocence I once had. It was a much simpler life.

[Virgo]

I can't really relate, since I haven't dated, but I hear 'you fulfilled your vows' a lot here. It is true, but I'm sure it's hard to convince your heart of that. ((hugs))

[Guest TooSoon]

It is not like you have stopped loving him or have forgotten your memories.  In my world view, isn't that all we have left of whatever commitments we made to our late spouses? 

 

As you know, I believe that once it is done, that's it.  But if there was some other dimension where Scott could see the life we've built, I know he would rest easy knowing we're going to be ok and better still, that we are happy again.   

 

Enjoy all of the good things in your life!  You have more than earned them in heartache.  We all have.