Carey Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 This is probably the first Labor Day Weekend we have not been at the beach in approximately 20 years. But I had a repeat MRI last week and the tumor has not shrunk like the doc wanted it to, so he doubled the dosage and extended treatment for another 4-6 months :-( I know I should be grateful it's non-malignant, that even though I've lost some hair, you can't tell, that I'm still sort of functioning at work. But after those things, I got nuttin. I get one good day every 4 days or so, and even then I'm worn out from the previous 3 but at least I'm not laying on the floor sick. Today is that day, so I'm trying to get a lot done here at work. I've finally broken down and told my 18 year old daughter, but I just can't tell my son cause he has no clue how to keep things to himself. So I'm trying to soldier on. I want to be at the beach, and I can't believe I'm not forcing myself to go but just thinking of the heat and the walking and toting stuff (cause we camp) ... it's just too much. and That makes me so sad. I'm also reminded of another not so great labor day weekend when we were camping and Chad got drunk and ended up getting arrested and having to spend 48 hours in jail. It rained ALL weekend and I couldn't leave because I had to be there when he was able to be released. It. Was. Miserable. He actually pulled a similar stunt to little lesser degree another labor day weekend. And now the kids think it's funny, "reminiscing" about those times. Which really upsets me because those are not the memories I want them to have of their dad. And I just figure in my weakened state the beach would be more of a trigger than a salve this weekend. Anyway ... didn't mean to ramble just wanted to let the widda world know I'm still here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunshinedaydreamz Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Sorry you are going through this and hoping you'll be able to have a few days of the holiday weekend of peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Hey Carey I'm sorry Labor Day weekend is so difficult for you. I hope you get to have some rest this weekend! The only reason I like LDW is because I won't have to watch all the people heading out on their vacations with their families. I used to love summer, now......not so much. I sure hope that changes in time. I also am not fond of weekends either, sure hope that changes too! Hang in there. So sorry to hear of your health struggles. Hugs to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I am truly sorry that the tumor hasn't shrunk and that you are feeling so poorly. I can relate to the kids reminiscing about their Dad with memories you would rather not relive. Hang in there, lady. I hope things get better soon. (((Hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I've been thinking about you.. low energy and not able to post much, but sending (((((((HUGS)))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Thank you Jen ... I'm right there with you. Any energy I have is channeled into making it to work and making it THRU work. But I'm here ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcoxwell Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Any energy I have is channeled into making it to work and making it THRU work. But I'm here ......... This perfectly describes my entire last year, up until I moved and started over. I'm sorry you have to go through this. (((Hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 You've been in my thoughts, Carey. I'm sorry there wasn't more progress on the tumor and that you need to extend your treatments. I understand your feelings about those memories and how hurtful they are for you. Sending you tight, tight hugs and love... (I'd include some energy for you if I had some) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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