7 years

[Love mike]

It will be 7 years on Nov. 22 that my husband died.  My only son recently got engaged and I'm so happy about it.  I love his fianc?, as do his three sisters.  His engagement has triggered a bit of sadness.  Knowing his dad will miss this is hard, the thought of watching my first child marry without my husband with me is very sad.  But at almost seven years, there have been a lot of celebrations that we've not had him here for.  My sons fianc? is from another state and they will be traveling to her home for Thanksgiving, which is fine.  I buried my husband the day before thanksgiving, so I really do not enjoy the holiday.  My son had mentioned that her family is planning an engagement celebration for them while they are there.  The party is planned on the anniversary of my husbands death.  I had thought the party would be small and so I while I found the timing of the party to be disrespectful, I understood how it happened. My son agreed to the Sunday before Thanksgiving without realizing that was the death date.  Once set in motion, I think he felt conflicted about asking them to change the date, especially since the wedding will be held here where we live.  I feel that her family should've moved the date anyway, once they knew.  That's a hard day for us, and out of respect for my son and his family they should've switched to anther day.  Turns out the party is more formal and more of a big deal than I had originally thought.  I was very conflicted about whether or not I should go to the party.  One of my main concerns is that in going, I will leave the other kids here on that day.  They're adults, but still we're very close and always together on that day.  After much thought, I've decided to go and be there for my son.  I'm flying there and back on that day - the thought of staying overnight in a hotel by myself is not something I want to do. 

 

Not sure why I felt compelled to post this other than I know you guys will understand.  The thought of being at a celebration for such a happy event on the anniversary of the worst day of my life is so hard.  It seems like such a nasty twist of fate that this timing of the two dates has happened.  I'm sure it'll work out fine, in the end.  I'm also positive that my husband would want me to go be there for my son.  Thanks for reading and understanding.

[CJF]

I think going to be there for your son is the right choice.  And coming home the same day is a good idea so you can have the comfort of being home and near your other children as well.  My daughter recently got engaged so I totally get that while you are happy for him it brings up sad feelings as well.  I hope you enjoy the party and your day goes better than you expect.  Good luck. 

[donswife]

now that you have made the decision I hope it helps

it is such a hard day  and you know the feelings of sadness creep in

but with such a busy day of the party and flying in and out, maybe it will be a good distraction

just bring ear phones and tissue (and attivan:) for the plane ride home