Wow, crappy week ahead: anniversary of death and possible funeral

[ieh21]

These are the last few days leading up to the 5th anniversary of Joe's death. I've been pretty zen overall, but of course the last five days are not cheerful. However, now I learned that a chronically ill friend of mine has taken a turn for the worse. Not sure if he'll make the week. Of course I feel terrible about this, I feel terrible for his children and his wife, also a friend. But for very selfish reasons, I feel bad for me. I feel crappy admitting this, but I really want him to wait until Saturday to pass away. I want Friday to be about Joe. I want Joe to have that. We are getting together, friends of his and me, to go have a beer in his memory. Both my ill friend and Joe share the same group of friends. I was really looking forward to this. I understand of course that I might lose that now. Maybe some of you will understand the feeling. Or maybe I'm really just a shit for thinking like this.

[canadiangirl]

I get that feeling, ieh21, having hoped aloud (not to him) 2 years ago that my DH would not pass on Christmas Day (for the sake of our child).  You are not a shit.  Of course you would want to make the day about Joe.  It takes nothing away from your dying friend to wish for this- the friend would probably get it.  I hope he holds on and I hope his passing is peaceful, for him and his wife and children.  Will be thinking of you Friday.