My heart breaks for him

[still_lost]

DS was not yet 2 years old when my husband died over six years ago. He doesn't remember a whole lot about his dad, just memories that I've shared with him over the years. It makes me feel good to hear him laugh about the funny things that my husband used to do. Being an only child, he asks a lot about having a brother or sister. I haven't dated much, but I ended a 2.5 year relationship that wasn't working for me. Since then I've met a couple of guys for a coffee, but they weren't a good fit for a variety of reasons. I'm really not cut out for the whole dating thing at all. I'm in my mid 30s, and I'm almost ready to hang it up. My heart breaks for my son who already lost his daddy, and I can't give him the family that he wants. With it being just the two of us for over six years, I know that he feels lonely too sometimes. I do all that I can with him, but some voids just can't be filled.

[Captains wife]

Still lost. So many things you wrote resonated with me. My son is now 4.5yrs but lost his dad at 9 months. He is starting to talk about the loss of his Dad a fair amount. I miss my DH but I'm primarily sad for my son - we were going to have another child but now I feel it's too late for me so he is likely to be an only child. And there is such a void without his Dad - and my current relationship doesn't fill any of that void for him. I also feel uncomfortable for some reason trying to bring a new man into my son's life - no one can ever replace what he lost.sometimes I feel like the future may just be the 2 of us. We are moving on with our lives and trying to live it to the fullest- but that void remains, especially for my son and I feel so sad for him. Just wanted to post to say I understand and send widow support. This is so tough......

[still_lost]

The hardest part is not being able to give him what he wants. We were going to wait until he was two or three to have another child, but obviously things didn't go as planned. We do lots of things together, and like you and your son, we are living our lives as best we can. I agree with you about your relationship not filling the void for him. I was in the same boat with a boyfriend who lived a little bit of a distance away, so my son didn't have him around on a regular basis. That ended months ago, and I'm not sure that I want to be involved with anyone else. It may be the two of us for a very long while, and I'm trying to make the best of it. I'm sorry that any of us has to go through this hell.