Matchmaking services

[ieh21]

I don't really want to marry anyone and I'm not sure that I'll ever successful at dating. I tried Jdate and Match, I tried blind dates. I'm reasonably friendly with everyone and I've shown openness to meeting people. But everyone around me is 100% married.

 

There's a small part of me that tells me that I really should give it my "110%" as they often say in hockey, before I conclude that I had two great loves in my life (one of whom was obvs my DH) and now it's over. At 45. That small part of me thinks this would be a sad outcome.

 

So I started to wonder about matchmaking services. They sound like a scam to me. Why would I go through a service if websites exist? What would the service bring to me that I can't find just browsing through profiles? Is it that the people who are paying for the service are de facto more committed to the act of dating than people on websites (who typically pay a lot less)? Is it that getting a dating to-do list of people to contact is more likely to get people interested? Is it a confirmation bias, ie if the matchmaker told me I would like this person, I will probably like this person, therefore I should give this person a try?

 

I don't have money I want to burn. I can afford this, but I don't want to just abandon all logic. Has anyone tried a matchmaking service? Was the experience positive? Thanks.

[RobFTC]

If you are doing a home renovation, you can hire a general contractor or line up and coordinate all of the work yourself.  It costs more to have a GC involved, but their know-how can save you some time and a lot of frustration.  I think the same can *potentially* apply to a good matchmaker.

 

Caveat - I have not gone that route, and I worry a lot about how I would be able to tell a good one from a bad one - and a bad one would indeed be like feeding a few hundred perfectly-good dollars to a goat.  You're social milieu may also not be conducive to getting recommendations.

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Guest TalksToAngels]

Matchmaking is IMO a waste of time and money.

It also could make you feel obligated if you really weren't.

[Portside]

I personally know of only one person that used a true matchmaking service. Due to his wealth and stature in the community privacy and discretion were very, very important to him. Much more so than for us normal mortals. His list of requirements for the right match were extensive.

 

The service was outrageously expensive and his search took about 2 years. He eventually married one of the women the service located - a woman 25 years his junior who was just as accomplished as he was. It was worth it for him - they now have five wonderful children and have been married for almost 30 years.

 

Good luck

[Momtojandj]

I tried one , 20 plus years ago before being married . Not sure online dating even existed . I hated it , was expensive and although I went on a few dates , guys were not what I told them I was looking for. A good friend of mine last year looked into one , for successful working people ( I think that is what she said ) . She said it was expensive , she never did sign up for it.

[Needytoo]

I totally understand ieh2.  In my area we do have over 40 single dances and I would love to go if I just could have one single girlfriend that would go with me.  It does sound a little "high school" but I would be so much braver to have a friend go with me.  I know of two single ladies my age also widowed but told me they aren't ready to do the dating thing. 

A while back I tried online dating and it didn't work so well.  So I looked into our local match maker service. I never got the guts to call her but what I researched was it was very costly. 

Well I really want to take that next step and start dating.  The truth is this is how people our age meet.  One of those dating advise people held a online course on how to make an online profile. It really helped me spice my profile up. I also started e-therapy to work on my "intimacy" cold fish issues.  To make a long story short I I am getting way more responses.  I think your statement that you have to give 110 % might be bang on.