I became a widow 7 years ago today - and I am doing OK

[ScienceFan]

My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 50. He was my provider and protector, my knight in shining armor. My whole life came crashing down. Everything changed.

 

I was in shock for the first 5 weeks - like a deer in the headlights; I couldn't trust myself to drive! For the first 3 months, I burst into tears 6 times a day. It took 6 months before I had the mental ability to stand at the stove and prepare a meal.  The first year was the hardest... all the "firsts" without him. It was 3.5 years before I felt like I had the emotional energy to organize my calendar and make appointments and hire people to do work around the house. It was 6.5 years before I finally embraced the idea of being single.

 

In the previous few years, about 5 weeks before the anniversary of my husband's death approached, I would begin thinking about him more often. I would think about the night he died more often and I would spiral down into sadness and depression... for half the month of March and most of April until the 21st of April.

 

I am really proud of my healing so far because this year, I did not do that. I really only had trouble the week before the anniversary and today has not been too painful at all. I've been treating myself with a little extra TLC this week and I took a vacation day today and went to the ocean and enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine and had a nice lunch out.

 

This last 12 months have been almost grief-free. I can think of my husband or talk about him without pain.

I hope my experience encourages others here who have just started their grief journey and wonder if the pain will ever end.

[BrokenHeart2]

Thank you SF for your wonderful post.  I'm coming up on 3 yrs and you give me HOPE!  I want to live again and am working hard to do that.  Your post for me is very inspirational!

Hugs.

[Justin]

ScienceFan,

 

 

Thank you so much for joining our community and sharing the story of your journey with us.

 

 

When I first found this community (back in the days on the YWBB), I was most drawn to the stories of wids much further out who had learned to live again. Those accounts filled me with much hope and made it easier to carry on.

[Lisa]

sciencefan...7 yeas in june, i could have written the same almost verbatim.

[ScienceFan]

Thank you SF for your wonderful post.  I'm coming up on 3 yrs and you give me HOPE!  I want to live again and am working hard to do that.  Your post for me is very inspirational!

Hugs.

I'm glad I have encouraged you. <3

[ScienceFan]

ScienceFan,

 

 

Thank you so much for joining our community and sharing the story of your journey with us.

 

 

When I first found this community (back in the days on the YWBB), I was most drawn to the stories of wids much further out who had learned to live again. Those accounts filled me with much hope and made it easier to carry on.

I joined the old YWBB forum 6.5 years ago. (same username)

They helped me make it through the times when I had no one else to talk to...

there was always someone available there to share with and to empathize.