I am new to this...all of this

[Guest jonesandjenn19781979]

My nickname is JC, but my Clint called me by my given name, Jennifer. I'm not a fan of anyone else calling me that name now. My parent's didn't even call me Jennifer, unless they were really mad. I don't really know where I fit in anymore. I wasn't really sure what to add here. So I had to put some of my story in order for people to understand and know me a little. It accidently loaded my document twice. I'm sorry.

Clints_story.docx

Clints_story.docx

[SemperFidelis]

What an exhausting and frustrating situation to go through. That's a lot to cope with.

 

I am glad you found the board and hope you are able to find some benefit from it.

[Guest jonesandjenn19781979]

Thank you Semper Fidelis. I don't really know how to express myself at this time. It is just one big devastating mess. It just replays in my mind constantly. I don't know if it's because it hurts so bad or I just don't want to forget anything or really I can't forget it. I'm not the same person and you can't be after loss. I don't want to adapt to this new reality; this new normal.

[SemperFidelis]

Yes, the replaying of the scene is normal....and exhausting, at times it seems it will never end. I am 13 months out and it has less power over me than in the first months but I do revisit and replay aspects of it every day....I think on some level I think I will remember something new, something I have missed all this time and that will suddenly give me rest. But it never comes.

 

It is normal to be and feel quite different after loss like this. I am still figuring out who and what I am. I wish I could just feel normal again.