Silly little thing, but I think you all would understand

[K_J]

M and I liked The Matrix movies a lot.  We talked about being Neo and Trinity for Halloween at some point.  (Hey, we were in our 20s, sounded like fun!)  I watched part of one of the movies this morning while at the gym.  I remembered wanting to be Trinity for Halloween.  Part of me still wants to.  But the other part of me doesn't think I could do it without M.  I would just miss him too much - it would seem incomplete without him.  My now-husband (who has been my husband for 7.5yrs, longer than M. and I were married) isn't really the type to get into something like that, although he would probably do it if I really asked him to.  Maybe I could try to get my kids to be Neo and Trinity (although that would bring up some weird issues with their being siblings, LOL) and be The Oracle.  Maybe that would be more appropriate at this point?  Or like so many things, perhaps it should just be let go.

 

I wish M. and I had done the Neo and Trinity thing when we could have.  Not worried about excess bulges in places in the plether.  Just done it when we still could have, when we were both here.

 

Still, strange, odd, almost annoying little corners of loss - even just simply within the idea of a Halloween costume!

 

--KJ

[Bluebird]

Hi K_J,

 

I've never seen the matrix movies, although I've seen ads for them. I think the outfits would make really cool halloween costumes! I think it would be very sweet to be Trinity...honoring your part in your relationship with M. I can't help but think that our deceased partners would want us to grab life and live it with no holds barred!

 

I say go for it!

 

Take care, Bluebird!

[anniegirl]

Halloween was a huge holiday for the LH and I. We began dating while we were constructing and then running a haunted house to raise money for charity. I loved to design spooky sets and dress up. He was more of a behind the scenes guy.

 

Halloween fell the week after he went into hospice which was the same year our daughter was really old enough to understand and enjoy the whole trick/treat concept. The first place she trick/treated was the nurses' desk at the hospice. Killed the whole thing for me for a while after though I went through the motions for her.

 

The last couple of years I have toyed with dressing up again. My daughter is nearly 13 and thinks it would be "cool" and my husband says "whatever you want" but he is not a Halloween person. You have to be a Halloween person really to get this, I think.

 

Maybe you should dress up. If it's still something you wish you'd done and you spend time thinking about, it's probably something you need to do. For you. Dress the whole family up since your husband is willing to cooperate. Why not?

 

I think some things that we miss or regret having not done comes down to "why not now?" and the answer points to the solution.

 

Some things will always be regrets. Some stuff we've simply grown past and need to acknowledge that to ourselves. Both are important and valid."

 

If you dress up, post the pics.