I really like him

[still_lost]

As I mentioned before, my husband passed seven years ago. I've only had one two year relationship since then that ended over a year ago. I decided that I was very ready to move on from such a negative person even though he expressed his interest in getting back together a few times. I told myself that I deserve better. So I met a guy through a friend whom I had no real interest in once she told me about his situation. We hadn't met face to face at that point, but she told me that he was divorced with 4 kids, only one living with him, the others out of state with their mom. He works in thr medical field, lives about 10 minutes from me, coaches little league and his sons football team etc.. Once we started talking on the phone (for 5 hours) on average, I felt a connection with him. Then my girlfriend and her guy invited me out to dinner, and he came along so it wasn't awkward since it seemed like four friends just hanging out. He really is a nice guy, the physical attraction is definitely there also. We talk/text throughout the day, and we've made plans to go out next week one on one. I guess I'm hung up on the fact that he's divorced with four little ones. I have only one child, and one day would like to have another, so a man with four children is an issue for me. He seems to be a great father, and very involved with his children. I think I'm just getting hung up on this, and I probably shouldn't. I guess we will just remain friends for now, and see where it goes. I also don't want to get caught up in all of the attention and sweet compliments that he gives me, and be blinded by some of the other things. I think this was the case with my ex since he was the first man after four years of being alone. I really wanted companionship and someone to talk to. I don't want to make the same mistake again. Any thoughts?

[Portside]

 

I guess I'm hung up on the fact that he's divorced with four little ones. I have only one child, and one day would like to have another, so a man with four children is an issue for me.

 

. . . . .

 

Any thoughts?

 

 

I'm a bit confused - is it the fact that this guy has 4 kids that bugs you or are you inferring that this fella will not want another child and that part of it concerns you?

 

Mike

[still_lost]

Mike, it's more the fact that he already has four children and an ex-wife, and that in itself adds a little.more stress to a relationship. We are not at the point of a relationship, obviously, but I have heard him say that he always wanted a big family and another child in the future. I think it's just me getting caught up by the fact that he already has a big family, and I don't know how I would deal with four of someone else's children.

[Portside]

Ah, I see. Of course every situation is unique but if everyone is cool and you all want this to work out, it can be done successfully. (I know, I know - you aren't in a relationship yet  ;D)

 

After the death of my late wife, I brought four sons and my intended brought two kids into a remarriage. We all didn't care about the numbers of kids and I also had a former wife in the picture. Former wife is a peach who was very kind to all when my late wife was dying. She and my current wife get along great - as do I.

 

Like I said, it all depends on the personalities of all involved and what one desires.

 

Good luck ! - Mike