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It's hurting so bad...


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The memories are really hitting me hard these past 2 days. Me and my husband were really great friends before ever becoming husband and wife!

 

Me and him would travel places and run through the woods together, random 4 am car rides to Dunkin donuts or to just pull over and talk, fires outside in the summer, talking until morning when we could no longer hold our eyes open.

 

Everything he has ever said to me is ringing in my ears. My heart is heavy today. All I wanna do is cry. I miss our memories but most of all, I'm missing him...😥

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It really is hard. My marriage sounds similar to yours so it really feels like we are simply feeling incomplete - almost handicapped without our partners. It has helped me so far that we were both originally strong independent individuals before we dated. When we started dating, we became a team, great collaborators who were very complimentary and could talk about anything and everything. He really brought out the best in me. I now feel like a lessor version of myself without him. I look for that independent individual person I used to be but I don't know. It's been a long time since I was that person.

 

Like I told my kids recently: life for me is like a radio. It may not be high def, digital, in stereo, or the best sound quality but still, I can hear the music. Glad to give the virtual hugs. It helps give courage and a little bit of strength.

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