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LeahRoot84

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Everything posted by LeahRoot84

  1. Hugs to you! So sorry you are here. You are never alone though. Xx
  2. Hello Manoj, I may just take that into consideration. Life hasn't been so much "fun" since SO has passed. But I need to learn to have a good time again. I'm sure it will help my sanity in the long run. Hugs
  3. My son said that he noticed my brother wearing my husband's favorite hat. This was my husbands winter hat he wore every year! I'm pissed because he didn't ask! I shouldn't have to hide my husband's things in MY HOUSE!!! But now I feel like I have to. Am I being irrational that I want to punch him and his wife in the face for this?? And I only say her because, she knew it was my SO's hat! She could have said something. But instead, I found out from my 15 year old. Ugh!!!!
  4. I'm just avoiding everyone and really, it's my own problems, it really has nothing to do with anyone else. I feel like I'm pushing everyone away! Because the one person I truly want, I can't have. I miss my other half. And at the same time, I'm getting tired of being alone. I just wanna be happy again. This shit sucks! It really does
  5. I am so sorry you are going through all of this alone. Although our SO's passed in completely different ways, I was also 6 months pregnant with our only child, a boy. And it breaks my heart everyday knowing he will never get to see him or have the kind of bond a baby/child should have with their father. My heart goes out to you and your precious little miracle. Hugs to you both!
  6. A few days ago, I seen a man and a woman in their car, parked in the same spot me and my SO use to park. I had a moment that I wanted to turn the car around and drive to where these people were and see if it was my husband with a new car and a new woman! Why can't I just except he's gone??? What is wrong with me? I feel nuts!
  7. Before my husband passed, I had one of my oldest brothers living in my home with his wife and 2 kids. They completely took advantage! My brother tried pulling our mother down a flight of stairs, his wife was popping pills and their kids had absolutely 0 respect for me or their Grandmother. By February, my brother slit his wrist in front of my children and his and at that point, I had to kick them out, that was the final straw!!! A month later, my husband popped pills and ended up dying behind my house in the woods. Since that time I have allowed another one of my oldest brothers and his wife and 3 kids move into my house out of the goodness of my heart. His wife has done nothing but walked all over me and my mother. She has tried taking run of things in MY HOUSE! And all the while, I feel like the biggest asshole and sucker ever!!! I need to stop opening up my doors and I need to give myself time to grieve and stop caring for people who don't give 2 fricks about me or my own. Sorry for the long vent everyone but thanks for listening!
  8. I became a widow at 31. I am now 32 and going on a year I have lost my husband. I would love to meet others in my shoes that live near me. I'm in Vermont.
  9. This new year keeps shitting on me. Was last year not enough when my husband decided to take his self out of the equation in this life??? Apparently not. I'm starting to see why he didn't wanna be around anymore. Life and it's bullshit trials and tribulations! Give it a rest already, LIFE!!!! Sorry, I needed the small vent.
  10. MR, your daughter definitely did the right thing! That was a very proud worthy moment!! She saved someone's life ❤
  11. Today I got news that my son's friend committed suicide. What a way to wake up. And having to tell my son was the worst considering my husband did the same just 10 short months ago. My heart is heavy for his family and my heart is heavy for my son. This hit way to close to home in an actual and non actual sense. :-[
  12. People will never understand what it's like to no longer have their other half around until, it happens to them. I'm so sorry you got a question like that. I tend to get that as well or, people just don't talk to me because they don't know what to say. Either way, it hurts like hell! Hugs to you!! Xx
  13. Kater, it's like Pringles, once you pop, you can't stop lol I have many tattoos and they all mean something to me. No one else ever has to agree! Hugs!!
  14. Beth and MR, hugs to the both of you! Your never ever alone. We will all have bad, good and terrible days. But we will all get through it together! Xx
  15. I want to get my memorial tattoo more than ever! But like I said, I'm so very indecisive. One of the things I should probably learn to let go of. 😏
  16. I want a memorial tattoo as well. I would like to get a suicide prevention ribbon but I'm always coming across other things I think he would have liked. I'm so indecisive. I'm thinking it may come to me eventually. I just hope it doesn't take long!
  17. Me and my husband had this thing going where, Everytime we crossed paths with something in nature, we would get it tattooed. I have gotten a few things tattooed but haven't gotten everything. The biggest significance for me and him were butterflies. Never failed, Everytime we were together, we had butterflies around us. I may continue the tradition we had. It could be a positive.
  18. Sometimes life is so unfair with its curve balls it throws at us. You are never alone. Hugs!
  19. Thank you all of you for taking the time to type something out to me letting me know I am far from alone. What a rollercoaster this whole thing has been. I'm ready to get off of it! Hugs to you all ❤
  20. I got to talk with my husband's primary care doctor and all I could do was break down and cry. I wish I could hold myself together. This is so hard. When does the pain ever end?! 10 months in and I feel like I'm losing my mind!!! I look at pictures of his face and it tears me down. My mind has registered that he is never coming back but my heart, it can't except it. I just want this all to go away! I don't wanna do this anymore. I want my husband! He will be, all I ever want.
  21. Tons of hugs on the way to all of you in such a terrible time in all of our lives..
  22. Hugs right back to you Julester3!! I'm waiting for things to get better. Seems as though, I'll be waiting forever. Praying for a miracle at this point.
  23. Laying in bed and softly weeping so my kids won't hear me. I don't understand. It's been almost a year and it seems it has gotten worse rather than better. Why can't life be like a movie, where we lose someone and get them back?! That's what I want! Instead, I lay here looking at the spot my husband used to lay his head at night. It feels so empty. Home is not home without my other half. Life is so unfair! It's just SO UNFAIR!!!
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