sadiversary

[Carey]

Well last March 23 I didn't get out of bed.  So the fact that I am sitting at work may be called a victory of sorts. I hate the number 23.  I lost the BEST man my little world has ever known, my daddy on 3/23/08.  And Chad on 11/23/13.  So today makes 7 years without my daddy and 16 months without my husband, two of the biggest chunks of my life.  Im really just at a loss today. Don't want to be here at work; don't want to interact with patients.  It's funny, many 23rds have passed without me even noticing. I don't watch the calendar every month and mope on that day.  Last year it marked 6 months without Chad and that just felt crippling.  I don't grieve for my daddy much. He was 77 and he was in bad shape physically. He died at 8:00 a.m. on Easter Sunday morning and while I didn't rejoice , I did feel peace. Complete peace that he had lived a wonderful and exceptional life and given me so much and I knew he was miserable in his disability. I loved thinking about him having a perfect body in Heaven.  I'm nowhere NEAR any kind of peace whatsoever about Chad.  In many many ways and I am STILL so very angry and cant help but think that the anger should have subsided a little more than it has.  I feel like I need to wear a sign today that says  "leave me alone: It's in your best interest.Run!! Protect yourself!" 

 

[ATJ]

 

 

'May you be able to accept the seasons of your heart

just as you have always accepted that seasons pass over the fields.

May serenity be yours as you walk through the winters of your grief."

 

~~ Kahlil Gibran -

 

 

(((Carey)))

 

May Peace and Comfort surround your heart today and always!

 

Sending you Light and Blessings.

 

ATJ

[Carey]

Beautiful ATJ.........thank you so much.

[Needytoo]

Hugs and understanding I am sending you