Personality

[66etype]

I just returned from a 3 week trip to Costa Rica. I had much time to reflect on life traveling from beach to beach. One item that popped up on my radar from all this self reflection was how much energy I wasn't spending reaching out to good friends. I realized that in the beginning of grief I didn't reach out to people as I didn't have the energy, nor did I know what to ask for. In April it will be 5 years since he's passed and I now see that not reaching out to people is a habit.... not the result of the grief. It was startling for me to realize that I was neglecting wonderful relationships due to this "habit" I picked up.

I'm not saying that this has happened to anyone else.. I just know I did. I might have tested differently prior to that realization.. I'm not sure, as I didn't take the test before I returned.

 

Tracy

 

[Adley]

@66, very insightful. That trip was surely worth it! The difference in habits and our actual selves, what a worthy reflection. I need to investigate this. Hm.

[Milojka]

This topic is sooo interesting to me.

 

I have been a ISFJ for years, when I was young I used to be an ESFJ. My dh was a INTP.

So just like you, Maureen, and I agree with you that this is a perfect match. :-)

 

Before his death, we were together on our own most of the time (we also worked together, no children), as that is what we loved doing. We didn't have a huge network around us, which was OK. However, he would definitely have been the more introverted of both of us and people who don't know me often mistake me for someone who is very sociable and extraverted.

 

The months after his death were filled with legal battles which I had to fight on my own (with help of sollicitors etc) which left me completely exhausted. I hardly realized what had happened, no time to process all the blows I kept on getting, but still I had to proof the others to be wrong, which I eventually did yeey. At the same time, there were many issues with his stephmother who once again showed how evil she was, only now I was on my own to deal with that. So as soon as I could I left for a remote island where I still am, for the sake of my sanity.

 

So here I am. Alone. I have made some good friends, but we don't see each other that much. I am definitely much more introverted than I have ever been. I don't mind being on my own - although at first it literaly made me panic (no one next to me, no one to care for, no one who takes care of me). I like working outside, without people around me. I do not have a television but I like playing with wool and my knittingmachine in the evening. I am not on facebook or other social media, but I like to read on Widda. What still strikes me, is that I seem to be unable to remember faces and names and relations between the few people that live here and the stories about them. I used to have an excellent memory and interest for those things. In general being among people drains me now. I cannot stand noise at all.

 

We were together for 23 years and now I am alone since 2 years and I can still be surprised about the person that I am now, and the life I have. I miss him - that pain is always there, as you will all understand. But given the circumstances, it is not a bad life.

 

It is something that I ask myself often: will I ever be less introverted again? Would I be wanting to live again in a city in the future? And there have been so many changes other than this - will I ever return to that person?

 

Sorry to have made this so long...