Dont know how to feel

[Lostdove124]

As of march 29th i became a 25 year old widow. We have a 5 year old little girl, who was daddys girls.

 

He was on his way to work and slid his harley and died on impact.

 

Im so lost! The night before we had the worst arguement we have ever had and i feel like this whole thing is my fault. At moments i laugh at his memories and other times i cry and cry and cry.

 

My Mind plays tricks. I cant stop thinking this wasjust a accident. I keep thinking he was killed by a hit and run. Things dont make sense. Ita been 3 weeks since i heard his voice and 1 week ago was the last time ill ever see him again.

 

Im lost and need help with this.

 

I dont know how to parent alone. How to sleep alone. How to run my house alone . im just all in all lost without him.

[Julester3]

First of all stop and breathe and focus on your breathing. You are processing and your mind is moving at 100 mph! I am so sorry you have to be here with us but I am glad you have found us because you will get support from people who truly, truly understand. This journey requires we take the same path but how we take it is what will differ. You will find a way because you have to for yourself and for your child. The easiest way to start is change up how you do things - break your routines and make them new. I was able to sleep by sleeping in his spot, not mine and at dinner we all changed seats. Little things. If people are offering help still, take it while you process and try to figure out things. Bills need to get paid, household still needs to be run but help can be helpful if it's being offered. Hugs for you today.

[MR]

Hi Lostdove124,

I am so sorry for your loss. Initial 1-3 months will be like this where you will think all the stuff which may or may not make sense but that's part of the grief. You will cry and then in a sec be normal because daughter came to you. Mind is one of the things which can move at higher speed than light so let it play games. I agree with Julester3 try to break the routine and do things which could be different from your everyday routine. Try to concentrate on kid, work and most imp your health.

Hugs

Manoj