My grandad died

[CarlyM]

Am not sure many of you will remember me here now.  My boyfriend Stuart died of rare cancer in 2005, he was 25, i was 24.  I have rebuilt my life, slowly, and feel as if i have healed from the whole experience even if it can knock me for six on special days.

 

In 2014, my Grandma died after a 6 month deterioration after a fall and Alzheimers.  I moved shortly afterwards to live overseas.

 

Last week, her husband, my Grandad died unexpectedly. He was 94, so this isn't tragic like Stuart.  But the shock is unbelievable.  I cant concentrate, i am numb, i can't fall to sleep, i wake early.

 

I know that this will pass of course, it has before, i am just shocked at the depth of this.  i think the shock and the fact that he was a huge constant in my life has combined to leave me with that lump in my throat. Something i had forgotten, but oh how familiar it is.....and i get married in 6 weeks, he was due to have his suit fitted today..... leaves me wondering, again, what the point in all of this is.... *sigh*

[Julester3]

It's always hard to lose a loved one and even bittersweet when he was going to be a part of your wedding plans. It's never easy no matter who it is to you but in this case you have a treasure trove of memories you can keep of your grandfather. He had a long life and that means a lot of memories to collect and that is a good thing. Hugs to you!

[CarlyM]

Thank you. I forget the initial awful, awful bit. Then it where you wake and re remember the news each day... he did have a long life, certainly not 25 like Stuart, am just surprised by the hurt! Silly really. Hugs back at you.xx

[BrokenHeart2]

Not silly at all CarlyM.  He was a man that you loved for all of your life.  You know only too well the finally and pain that death brings.  I think when we lose our loved ones some of the old hard pain as widows may surface as well.  As you stated "to leave me with that lump in my throat. Something i had forgotten, but oh how familiar it is" so true.    Also the sudden shock of it all as well no matter how old they are.

Be gentle with yourself CarlyM and hugs to you.