Ok now what

[Newtothis]

Hi y’all 

 

well I’m finally (hasn’t been a long time, but it’s been a long process) am at the point where I’m ready to let someone new into my heart.

 

I met a wonderful man out of nowhere, and we had a wonderful couple nights out and have been texting every day. I really like him. He knows about late DH and the kids. We are taking things really (really) slowly, but I do see potential for a serious relationship.

 

when and how should I approach this with my (12, 9, 4 yo) kids? Obviously not trying to introduce them until it’s serious. But do I need to tell them I’m seeing someone? And when did y’all do that? 

 

Thanks

[Julester3]

My kids were the ones to push me to meet someone. They didn’t like the idea of me being alone. They were 13 & 17 when I started dating so our conversations centered on the guys I met and what issues I had with them. With NG, we waited 10 months before we all had dinner together with his kids. Now,we have occasional dinners and gatherings as our schedule allows. We’ve been together over a year and a half. I’m honest and I answer any questions the kids have. This relationship is for me, not for my kids. They had a father and they aren’t looking to replace him. They just want to see me happy. You might want to see if someone with younger kids can chime in with their POV. But considering the age of your kids and how they might react, I wouldn’t mention it unless they were questioning your absence and if you were getting serious. No need to hurt anyone’s feelings or sensitivity or get anyone’s hope up.

Edited September 4, 2019 by Julester3

[Portside]

It was my 10 yr old that urged me to start dating again. Which I did - but all I said to all of my sons was simply I had started to date . I did this pretty soon after I started going out again. I didn't give them many details and didn't introduce them to anyone until after my now wife and I decided that we were in this for the long haul. It went pretty smoothly all things considered. Telling the boys I was starting to go out also had the very positive effect of stopping #3 son from going up to perfect strangers in the grocery store asking them if the would be my new Mommie.   Ouch. 

 

I did pretty much the same thing with my MIL. She was very understanding and supportive right from the beginning. 

 

Good Luck! 

Mike