How The World Sees A Drug Addict

[Bluebird]

Hi everyone,

 

I came across this opinion piece on FaceBook. It is very well written and from my perspective, does an amazing job of describing addiction from the addict's perspective, as well as describing the impact on friends and family. It is like she has been in my home, seen my husband on the bathroom floor, seen his tears fall and felt his pain. As I have.

 

http://henryharbor.com/how-the-world-sees-a-drug-addict/

 

Take care, Bluebird.

[Sugarbell]

Great article!

 

My first 2 years of recovery...I was embarrassed to ever tell anyone in real life that I was a recovering addict.(except on the board). I worked in drug prevention -and thought they would be mortified if they knew (when I was hired I had only 5 months clean time)

 

One of my New Years resolutions was to come out of the closet with my addiction/recovery. It's been a very gradual process-but the world needs to know that we can recover and be productive happy human beings. Most don't believe my addiction was as bad as it was. It was bad...life threatening..I flatlined once...lost days, blacked out.

 

But the world still sees us as moral degenerates (I am selective about who I open up to because small town/children..but eventually I will completely come clean with my kids too.

 

Addiction is a demon. It doesn't just kill you...it tries to destroy everyone you love, take everything you have, destroy your self worth and passion....then it kills you-after it has destroyed your loved ones and everything good about you.

[AndysWife]

I felt sad after reading the article. The world has turned into an unlivable environment for an awful lot of people. I wonder where I would be without having the baby.. nowhere good I'm sure.

[keeptrying]

I have never been an addict. My husband was not a drug/alcohol addict, but he did have a different addiction. I have known many drug addicts and unfortunately know that the drug takes the person over. You will get hurt if you stay a part of their lives. I have known Alcoholics. I never could understand why alcohol was SO much important than anyone or anything else. They could have the world, but instead, they choose to be self destructive and hurt people around them. There is nothing you can do, nothing you can say and you can't give enough to the drug addicts and alcoholics that I have known and that I know now. The biggest thing I fought with is why do you choose your addiction over your friends, family, life. You are given every opportunity and you refuse to take it. I came to realize I will NEVER understand because I have never been an addict. I don't know what it is like to struggle every day, to crave and to need that. I haven't gone through the mental torture and pain that it brings to the addict. I can't relate. No matter how much I think, try to understand and relate, I will NEVER be able to, because I have never been in that situation. Just like a person who is not a widow, can NEVER understand the hurt, pain and emotions that a widow goes through every day.

[Bluebird]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

 

@Sugarbell, I think it's incredibly brave that you are coming out regarding your addiction and recovery. I have only recently been able to be open about my husband's cause of death. Not in all circles, but in many I am able to say that my husband died from the consequences of chronic late stage alcoholism. In some cases I was met with shocked reactions, in others, understanding.

 

 

@Andyswife, that's so true. Our task is to find meaning for our lives after their loss, whatever that is for us.

 

@keeptrying. Truly understanding the experience of an addict/alcoholic IS really hard. When my DH was spiraling out of control, I became a truly horrible person myself. I took it personally when I saw him throw opportunities to recover away, when he took actions that preserved his ability to drink despite horrific pain for me and our son. I became a very angry and betrayed woman. When I understood, in a mind and heart way, that he had a disease that had hold of him...I was able to accept that it was completely out of his control in the later stages of the disease. It helped me be more compassionate and to love him anyway.

[Sugarbell]

I was a functioning addict up to the last 3 months of my use. I lied, conned, manipulated. Even when the ambulance was called twice to my house for overdosing-I lied and told the neighbors it was from seizures. I kept my house clean, kept up with my kids (poly pharmacy...ampethamines to wake up then pain killers then benzodiazepines to sleep at night. Pretty much a 21sr century Elvis Presley.

 

I never smelled of alcohol, I never had track marks down my arms..nothing in my nose. Pills-And I hid it. Junkies hide it until we die sometimes. I didn't lose everything...but my soul..the most important thing.

 

I have a graduate degree...most people would never guess me a drug addict..I have a good family, nice home, etc. But more recovering addicts need to speak out...People don't just need to hear about the disaster stories-They need hope that addicts can recover. And honestly-mine was divine intervention-my family, close friends, therapist, pastor no one could get through to me. Bens spirit saved my life. Sounds totally crazy. But it's true.

 

Anononyius  People is an awesome documentary on NetFlix. I recommend anyone struggling with or struggling to understand addiction watch it.

[Bluebird]

Thanks Sugarbell. I will try. Sometimes I can't watch films that take me all the way back to our lives...but I will try.