The pitfalls of Facebook

[singinmomo4]

These days Facebook is pretty much my only adult interaction.  I'm laid up at home with an ankle wound that is keeping me out of work and mostly on my back with my ankle elevated. (I was going to say on my back with my legs up but then I realized how that sounded.  Actually, that sounds pretty good right now  ;D)

 

So, I'm on FB alot, more than I should be, and anyone who knows me knows I really don't think too much about my posts before I post them.  I post about pretty much everything in my life and sometimes it gets me into trouble.

 

Case in point.  I recently posted about how I've finally contacted a handyman through Angie's List to take care of some things around the house.  I figure I'm laid up, I might as well get someone in here to take care of some things.  Actually I should have done it before my kids were about to be out of school.  It would have been a lot easier.

 

So then, after I post about this someone from church comes on to say there are several people at church who could do handyman work for me.  Oops.  Now I'm in a pickle.  I don't want to hire someone from church or my personal life for several reasons.  1. Hiring someone from your personal life causes problems if you aren't happy with the job they do, 2.  I like finding people who accept  credit cards because I like getting the points and 3.  My house and life are a mess, I don't like bringing in people that will likely talk behind my back or judge.  Unfortunately, many from church would, not everyone, but many would. 

 

So I respond to the comment about how I like to use my credit cards for points.  I talk about my use of points all the time, so this is well known.  You would think that would end it, right?  Nope.

 

This morning there is a post  from someone at church saying her husband just retired and is looking for odd jobs to keep himself busy and the person who had suggested I use someone from church tags me in her comment and says "See Mary!  The money you save from not using your credit card will make it worth it!".  Shit.  Now I have to find a way to tell them no, I don't want to use you.  Crap.

 

Fortunately she said the only things he can't do are electrical and plumbing and fortunately that is mostly what I am looking to get done at first.  So I say that.  Then I respond to the comment about using my credit card by saying I don't pay interest.  I pay off my charges in full each month unless I have a 0% interest deal.  Really, it's like using cash only I get points to leverage for travel and other things.  I must admit, I get quite a high from playing the points game. 

 

I hate being in a position to say "No, I don't want to use you".  Actually, if I remember right, her husband worked for a place that did carpentry.  I think they made wood furniture.  I would probably bring him in for something carpentry related but again, I know this couple well enough to know I don't want them knowing me or my life too closely.  They will talk and judge and I don't like that. 

 

Honestly, I just want to find a highly rated person though Angie's list that takes credit cards and can do pretty much anything, that I can bring in to do a little at a time.  I don't want to deal with multiple people and I don't want to worry about bad feelings or awkward situations.  Rick was the same way.  He often had people offer help when he was doing home projects.  He didn't want the help because he didn't want problems if they didn't do things the way he liked.  There was only one friend he would bring in to help with projects and I have called and will call that guy whenever I need things like drywall and some light remodeling done.  For instance I will likely call him in when I need to get a leak on the ceiling of my living room fixed.  He does excellent work.  I never have to worry with him.  Other than that, nope, not interested in finding someone from church or a friend to help out and risk problems.  It's not worth it.

 

<sigh>  Facebook can be such a pain sometimes.  I really need to get back to work. 

[Guest Kamcho]

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[RobFTC]

Mary, I don't think you need to even respond to these people.  Why should you even explain your preferences?

 

Take care,

Rob T

[Guest nonesuch]

I agree with you that hiring friends can be awkward.  My neighbors hired a man from their church to do some plumbing.  He was behind in paying his bills.  His marriage was in trouble.  He delayed starting over and over.  When it became clear they'd have to hire someone else, they tried to contact the plumbing supplier to at least get their fixtures they'd given him money for.  Sadly, he'd used the money they'd given him to pay off the supplies from a previous job.  In the course of this debacle, because they all belonged to the same church, people felt free to tell them details about his falling-apart life that they wished they hadn't heard.

 

You can sue a business that does this, but they'd felt like heels to do that to a fellow  church member, and wondered what others would think if they did.  They were out the money. 

 

Shoveling a walk free of charge, taking a pickup truckload of stuff to the dump, a one-time pass through the house for someone who has suffered a loss or can't afford a task that only needs doing one time...makes sense to help someone out with a freebie.  The Knights of Columbus came by my house just before LH died and painted most of the first floor, cleaned up the yard. etc. It's reasonable to be paid for household repairs, and hiring friends ought to be approached with caution.  You're paying for the labor, and you have a right to dictate how you want it done. 

[singinmomo4]

I don't have a problem with people from church offering their services for a price.  If I couldn't afford to bring someone in I could absolutely go to this church and ask for help and they would find someone to help me.  It's a good church full of caring people but, like most churches, some of those caring people like to talk and often can be judgmental.  I'd just rather not deal with it. 

 

Just a note, I edited my original post a bit.  I read the post on FB when I first woke up this morning and the post I thought was on my page wasn't.  It showed up in my feed because the person from church who had originally suggested I use someone from church tagged me in her response to the post.  the poster did just as she should have.  Posted a general "My husband is available for work" post without tagging me.  It was the other church member that put me in an awkward position.  Still awkward but at least it was just one church member being difficult and not both of them. 

[luvmy2babies]

As someone who paid over $1,000 for a junk haul away company to come by 3 times I understand.  We moved earlier in the year,  I had told my pastors and several other people our house had become too much for me and I was going to get rid of it and get something smaller; but when the actual move happened, no one from my church but my mom even knew until we were literally heading out the door to spend our first night in the new place.  The exception was a few friends from college I told; but I knew other than saying call us if you need help, they'd stay back.

 

I paid cash for everything including the movers and knew I'd rather spend that money than have people come over.  Nothing like lecturing comments when you're actually in the midst of making changes.  I remember when I told my mother that once my son was in Kindergarten and going to after care with my daughter I was going to finally have some time to myself because I have the option of them staying 4 hours after they are picked up and they can be fed dinner while there.  I said I was going to use the time to go to the gym a couple of times a week because I had found a special for one near where they would be.  Could she say "great, happy for you".  No, it was "Oh finally I've been worried...you know you need to lose weight right?" 

 

Don't worry about explaining yourself.  Sometimes people expect to be hired because they go to church with you.  And I've hired people for lawn care and some other stuff; but not people who expect to be asked just because of that.  You can always spot them.

[Guest IronBear]

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